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What distinguishes young people from their parents or grandparents generation is a lack of physical exercise. Today's generation are spending far too long playing computer games, chatting aimlessly on social networking sites or simply watching TV, an v.2

What distinguishes young people from their parents or grandparents generation is a lack of physical exercise. Today's generation are spending far too long playing computer games, chatting aimlessly on social networking sites or simply watching TV, an v. 2
The major difference between parents or grandparents and their descendants is a lack of physical exercise. Longer time is being spent by youngsters to play video games, chatting on Facebook or watching serials on Netflix, therefore, they have lesser time for being active. This essay agrees with the statement because children are heavily relied on technological equipment as well as sedentary lifestyle is another reason for this phenomena. To commence with, the major difference between youngsters and their parents is the development of technology. That is to say that, as technologies are becoming more advanced in recent times, children are more interesting in playing virtual games, video calling with their kith and kin instead of doing exercise. However, in the past, people had ample of time for exercise and social gathering because they did not have any modern technologies unlike today' s generation. For example, a recent survey in Times of India showed a declination in number of people who are doing exercise on daily basis as compared to past fifty years. Therefore, advancement of technology could be a pivotal reason due to which young persons are not doing physical exercise. Another reason why today' s generation are having lack of exercise is sedentary lifestyle. This is because, as in the past, people had to do industrious work by putting their own physical efforts whereas these tedious work-done are being replaced by automation nowadays. Consequently, lesser physical efforts are required in any sort of work due to which they are become lazier as compared to their forefathers. To exemplify, people are using vehicles these days to commute for shorter distance; however, in the past men and women were either preferred to walk or bicycle to go from one place to another. Thus, replacement of hard-work by modern technology could be a reason for the people being less active. In conclusion, I believe that exorbitant reliance on technology as well as sedentary lifestyle could be the reasons to bolster the notion that youngsters are doing less exercise as compared to previous generation. Furthermore, it is recommended t hat young generation should be guided by their parents that how to use technology effectively.
The major difference between parents or grandparents and their descendants is a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. Longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
being spent
by youngsters to play video games, chatting on Facebook or watching serials on Netflix,
therefore
, they have lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for being active. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children are
heavily
relied on technological equipment
as well
as sedentary lifestyle is another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena.

To commence with, the major difference between youngsters and their parents is the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
That is
to say that, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are becoming more advanced in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, children are more interesting in playing virtual games, video calling with their kith and kin
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
However
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had ample of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and social gathering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they did not have any modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
unlike
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s generation.
For example
, a recent survey in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
of India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a declination in number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
on daily basis as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
fifty years.
Therefore
, advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could be a pivotal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
due to which young persons are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s generation are having lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is sedentary lifestyle. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, as in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to do industrious work by putting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
efforts whereas these tedious work-done are
being replaced
by automation nowadays.
Consequently
, lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
efforts
are required
in any sort of work due to which they
are become
lazier
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to their forefathers. To exemplify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using vehicles these days to commute for shorter distance;
however
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women were either preferred to walk or bicycle to go from one place to another.
Thus
, replacement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-work by modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being less active.

In conclusion
, I believe that exorbitant reliance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as well
as sedentary lifestyle could be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to bolster the notion that youngsters are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
as compared to previous generation.
Furthermore
, it
is recommended
t hat young generation should
be guided
by their parents that how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
effectively
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay What distinguishes young people from their parents or grandparents generation is a lack of physical exercise. Today's generation are spending far too long playing computer games, chatting aimlessly on social networking sites or simply watching TV, an v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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