Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Write a letter to a manager whose company is constructing their new office next to your apartmentIntroduce yourselfDescribe problems you are facing because of thisSuggest solutions v.1

Write a letter to a manager whose company is constructing their new office next to your apartmentIntroduce yourselfDescribe problems you are facing because of thisSuggest solutions v. 1
Some teenagers opt to live independently after they pass a certain age. While some parents allow their children to live separately, others do not. I strongly believe that teenagers should live away from their home to improve their maturity level. Live separately from parents can be beneficial for a few underlying reasons. Firstly, children who live independently tend to be more prepared when they faced the real world. Moreover, without direct help from their parents, teenagers who live independently are forced to solve problems they will encounter in their real life by themselves. Consequently, teenagers who live independently will be far more confidence when making decisions compared to those who still live with their parents. Secondly, not only do teenagers who live far away from their parents are more ready, but they also have a better understanding about the decision they made. To illustrate, a majority of children who still live with their parents have all of their life arranged by their parents so that they have little understanding about their parent decisions. However, teenagers who live independently, make the decisions clearly for themselves based on their own understanding. Finally, aiming to learn the life skill set, teenagers can achieve it easily by living independently. For instance, when teenagers live far from their parents, they are forced to cook or to repair house equipment by themselves. Therefore, they can broaden their life skills. To conclude, from the above arguments, live independently can strongly boost teenager maturity level. Teenagers can acquire new skills, enhance their level of confidence, and have a better understanding about their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
opt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
after they pass a certain age. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separately
, others do not. I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
away from their home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their maturity level.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Live
separately
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can be beneficial for a few underlying reasons.
Firstly
, children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
tend to be more prepared when they faced the real world.
Moreover
, without direct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
are forced
to solve problems they will encounter in their real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by themselves.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
will be far more confidence when making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
compared to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their parents.

Secondly
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
far away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more ready,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
they made. To illustrate, a majority of children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have all of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
arranged by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
clearly
for themselves based on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
.
Finally
, aiming to learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
can achieve it
easily
by living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
.
For instance
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
far from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they
are forced
to cook or to repair
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
equipment by themselves.
Therefore
, they can broaden their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To conclude
, from the above arguments,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
can
strongly
boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenager
maturity level.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
can acquire new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, enhance their level of confidence, and have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understanding
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Write a letter to a manager whose company is constructing their new office next to your apartmentIntroduce yourselfDescribe problems you are facing because of thisSuggest solutions v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts