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What discovery in the last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v.1

What discovery in the last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v. 1
In our contemporary society, the public transit is one of the needs of local people in the city. Therefore, some people allow investing in this social service. They think that it is more important than anything. Besides this idea, other people believe that spending money on building new railroads in the cities, and I think that it will not bring more benefits for citizens. Firstly, it is clearly seen that the large number of people usually daily use public movements to go everywhere. To be more specific, annually, about 70 percent of bus users are student and workers to go to schools and offices. Convenience and time saving are the advantages of using buses and other vehicles when people want to move a short distance. Additionally, Cheap price is also a significant matter. Most people using public services are low-income people and students. They are not able to pay a lot of money for expensive fees. In the other words, the bus ticket fee is cheaper than train ticket fee. The amount of money paying a train ticket can buy around fifty bus tickets or four subway tickets. However, Trains are also a selection of other people, especially who have high income or travelling. On one hand, large, full facilities are the factors making their brand. On the other hand, the amount of fuel for a train is enormous. For example, a trip from HCM City to HN Center consumes about 2ton in a day. In conclusion, investing in public movements is better than spending money to build more train of railroad lines. It makes citizens’ s life are better and country of the market is developed.
In our contemporary society, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transit is one of the needs of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the city.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
investing in this social service. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than anything.
Besides
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on building new railroads in the cities, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it will not bring more benefits for citizens.

Firstly
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
movements to go everywhere. To be more specific,
annually
, about 70 percent of bus users are student and workers to go to schools and offices. Convenience and time saving are the advantages of using buses and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
vehicles when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
a short distance.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Cheap
price is
also
a significant matter. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services are low-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and students. They are not able to pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for expensive fees. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the bus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
fee is cheaper than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
fee. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
paying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ticket
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
around fifty bus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tickets
or four subway tickets.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Trains
are
also
a selection of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
who have high income or travelling. On one hand, large, full facilities are the factors making their brand. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the amount of fuel for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
is enormous.
For example
, a trip from
Possible spelling mistake found.
HCM
City to
Possible spelling mistake found.
HN
Center consumes about 2ton in a day.

In conclusion
, investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
movements is better than spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to build more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
of railroad lines. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
Did you mean "citizen’s" or "citizens’"?
citizens’ s
life are better and country of the market
is developed
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay What discovery in the last 100 years has been most beneficial for people in your country? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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