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You have just returned home after a long journey. Talk about a person whom you have missed the most and why so. Include examples and details to support your response. v.2

You have just returned home after a long journey. Talk about a person whom you have missed the most and why so. Include examples and details to support your response. v. 2
It has been suggested that first world countries are responsible to tackle world environmental matters and not the third world countries. I totally disagree with this point of view because all nations have major roles in combating the issues plaguing our globe. Certain people seem to believe that it is only the affluent western countries that should bother solving the world's environmental problems. This may be suggested because they possess the financial strength, environmental specialists as well as technological innovations to withstand these issues. As a result proffering solutions would probably appear seamless for them. Moreover, countries that are vast in resources provide relief and assistance in the face of disasters to affected nations. For example, the USA, the world's largest economy, proffered relief materials to Japan during the Tsunami in 2006. This helped Tokyo to recover quickly from the effects of the disaster. Hence, richer States have a gigantic role in curbing universal environmental dilemmas. However, I do not believe that in order to tackle global environmental issues poorer nations do not have a role. In fact, it would appear that these countries have a significant input in preventing and solving this terrific problems. Because they are most affected when stricken by natural disasters, they should perhaps be at the forefront in this fight. For example, India, a third world nation, experienced a high scaled earthquake in the 90s. Despite their limited capability to tackle the consequences of the quake, they rallied amongst themselves to ensure the effect was minimal. Furthermore, poverty stricken countries could may be render assistance to countries who suffer from environmental concerns. They may tend to offer manpower and psychological support to the sufferers to ensure their swift recovery. To conclude, both the rich and poorer nations have intrinsic roles in combating global environmental dilemmas. The fight against environmental problems will be lost unless all countries including the third world countries combine effort to neutralize the effect of environmental challenges.
It has
been suggested
that
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are responsible to tackle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
matters and not the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I
totally
disagree with this point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
in combating the issues plaguing our globe.

Certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
seem to believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the affluent western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that should bother solving the world's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems. This may
be suggested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they possess the financial strength,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
specialists
as well
as technological innovations to withstand these issues.
As a result
proffering solutions would
probably
appear seamless for them.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that are vast in resources provide relief and assistance in the face of disasters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
For example
, the USA, the world's largest economy, proffered relief materials to Japan during the Tsunami in 2006. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
Tokyo to recover
quickly
from the effects of the disaster.
Hence
, richer States have a gigantic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in curbing universal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
dilemmas.

However
, I do not believe that in order to tackle global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
do not have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
. In fact, it would appear that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have a significant input in preventing and solving this terrific problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they are most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
when stricken by natural disasters, they should perhaps be at the forefront in this fight.
For example
, India, a third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, experienced a high scaled earthquake in the 90s. Despite their limited capability to tackle the consequences of the quake, they rallied amongst themselves to ensure the effect was minimal.
Furthermore
,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
poverty stricken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
Two modal verbs connected. Did you mean: "could, may", "could" or "may"?
could may
be render assistance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
concerns. They may tend to offer manpower and psychological support to the sufferers to ensure their swift recovery.

To conclude
, both the rich and poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have intrinsic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
in combating global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
dilemmas. The fight against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems will
be lost
unless all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
including the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
combine effort to neutralize the effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
challenges.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay You have just returned home after a long journey. Talk about a person whom you have missed the most and why so. Include examples and details to support your response. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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