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Describe a celebrity you admire and how that person has influenced your life. Include details and examples to support your answer. v.1

Describe a celebrity you admire and how that person has influenced your life. Include details and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Wisdom is the quality that a person attains through various experiences in life. Moreover, certain people believe that older individual has the intellect to guide people much better than a person of a younger age. I agree with this entirely, and in this essay, we shall discuss this topic further. Most people go through numerous trials and tribulations in life, and thus some rectify their problem while others may fail to do so. People who have reached a certain age have already learned the art of improvising and figuring out problems, and as a consequence, have an impeccable understanding of a situation. For example, a person who has recovered from an illness is more cautious about the disease and thus can not only guide himself/herself but the society as a whole, about the precautionary measures that could be adopted. Therefore, an individual with sound knowledge has a wiser opinion and can oversee a person better. On the other hand, young individuals are still learning and developing and hence certainly do not possess the skill to handle frightful situations. In addition to this, sometimes their ideas or solutions may not suffice the scale of the problem. Moreover, a teenager might solve the current scenario, but neglect planning of a long term solution. They may also fail to anticipate any future issues because of their lack of experience. Furthermore, a young mind is constantly ___________ with adrenaline and spontaneity, which often misleads them, let alone guide others. To summarise, through time comes wisdom, and therefore I completely agree that the best of advice is given by the elderly than the adolescent.
Wisdom is the quality that a
person
attains through various experiences in life.
Moreover
, certain
people
believe that older individual has the intellect to guide
people
much better than a
person
of a younger age. I
agree
with this
entirely
, and in this essay, we shall discuss this topic
further
.

Most
people
go through numerous trials and tribulations in life, and
thus
some
rectify their problem while others may fail to do
so
.
People
who have reached a certain age have already learned the art of improvising and figuring out problems, and as a consequence, have an impeccable understanding of a situation.
For example
, a
person
who has recovered from an illness is more cautious about the disease and
thus
can not
only
guide himself/herself
but
the society as a whole, about the precautionary measures that could
be adopted
.
Therefore
, an individual with sound knowledge has a wiser opinion and can oversee a
person
better.

On the other hand
, young individuals are
still
learning and developing and
hence
certainly
do not possess the
skill
to handle frightful situations.
In addition
to this,
sometimes
their
ideas
or solutions may not suffice the scale of the problem.
Moreover
, a
teenager
might solve the
current
scenario,
but
neglect planning of a long term solution. They may
also
fail to anticipate any future issues
because
of their lack of experience.
Furthermore
, a young mind is
constantly
___________ with adrenaline and spontaneity, which
often
misleads them,
let
alone guide others.

To
summarise
, through time
comes
wisdom, and
therefore
I completely
agree
that the best of advice is
given
by the elderly than the adolescent.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe a celebrity you admire and how that person has influenced your life. Include details and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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