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Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourism industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development? v.3

Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourism industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development? v. 3
Nowadays, almost all countries use fossil fuels as the main sources of energy. However, in some developing countries, alternative resources are used more because of its positive effect. In my opinion, I partly agree with both ideas because each of them has its own advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, fossil fuels are actually easy to exploit in the several mountains and underground. Moreover, infrastructure, factories and household appliances are available and operate mainly on fossil fuels. So instead of spending money on equipments, they can use fossil fuels to save more, because of their popularity. While there are several negative side of using alternative resource compared to fossil fuels. But non-renewable power has a mighty impact on the environment. In addition, vehicles and factories are releasing a huge amount of carbon dioxide to the atmosphere nowadays because of the tremendous gas and petrol used in them. For that reason, non-renewable power is replaced by the renewable one to reduce the emission level in the atmosphere and improve the air quality. On the other hand, unlimited resource is available and environmentally friendly, residents' life and health become better. However, a significant amount of trouble which residents will be encountered when replacing the fossil fuels with alternative energy. Both the government and families would be faced with the financial burden as they will have to pay millions of money in purchasing new equipments and facilities those could be accessed to use the natural resources. For instance, the government needs to build factories and power conversion stations to produce natural resources and households must buy new electric vehicles to reduce emissions to the environment. To sum up, everything is both advantageous and disadvantageous, so is energy sources. We had better take all positives and negatives into consideration and prepare for any harmful effects of the power. Fortunately, as long as science still develops, almost all problems will be solved.
Nowadays, almost all countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
as the main sources of energy.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, alternative resources are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect. In my opinion, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each of them has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
are actually easy to exploit in the several mountains and underground.
Moreover
, infrastructure, factories and household appliances are available and operate
mainly
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
instead
of spending money on equipments, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
to save more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their popularity.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of using alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
non-renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
has a mighty impact on the environment.
In addition
, vehicles and factories are releasing a huge amount of carbon dioxide to the atmosphere nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the tremendous gas and petrol
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in them. For that reason, non-renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
is replaced
by the renewable one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the emission level in the atmosphere and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the air quality.

On the other hand
, unlimited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
is available and
environmentally
friendly, residents' life and health become better.
However
, a significant amount of trouble which residents will
be encountered
when replacing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
with alternative energy. Both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and families would
be faced
with the financial burden as they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay millions of money in purchasing new equipments and facilities those could
be accessed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the natural resources.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to build factories and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
conversion stations to produce natural resources and households
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new electric vehicles to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
emissions to the environment.

To sum up, everything is both advantageous and disadvantageous,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is energy sources. We had better take all positives and negatives into consideration and prepare for any harmful effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
.
Fortunately
, as long as science
still
develops, almost all problems will
be solved
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourism industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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