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What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online? v.3

What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online? v. 3
The online shopping platform has a vital role in nowadays world economy. Due to the network system, people from different places are now brought together into one community. Communication with others are more convenient. People from different places can easily access to an online market. However, there are both advantages and detrimental effect to each online shopper in different ways, depend on how we use it. Online shopping help reduce time and cost. When customers can simply contact the seller, initiating production and delivering are faster than to place an order face to face. Thus, there is no need to spend extra budget on transportation. For instance, online shoppers need to pay for delivery, which is cheaper compared to shoppers who need to pay for their budget on travelling between shop and home. Moreover, Online advertising is cheaper and easier for many companies too. On the other hand, some online store’s security policies are not strict enough that lead to fraud. Since scamming is a rare occasion, number of online shoppers tend to rise. While online shopping is on an increase, the local products selling rate seems to be stable. The reason for this situation is because lesser people shop on online platform rather than a local store. With that being said, to encourage people to buy local products, local stores can contribute their shop by joining an online shopping platform. This way shopper can conveniently reach your local store and improve your selling rate. To conclude, online shopping platform can improve the shopping experience with how convenient and simple to reach by shoppers. It can also revolutionize local store in a well known store. While disadvantage can occur, trading goods with no bad intention can prevent such indecent situation from happening.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
has a vital role
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
in nowadays
world economy. Due to the network system,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
brought together into one community. Communication with others are more convenient.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places can
easily
access to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
market.
However
, there are both advantages and detrimental effect to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopper
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways, depend on how we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.

Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
time and cost. When customers can
simply
contact the seller, initiating production and delivering are faster than to place an order face to face.
Thus
, there is no need to spend extra budget on transportation.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoppers
need to pay for delivery, which is cheaper compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoppers
who need to pay for their budget on travelling between shop and home.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
advertising is cheaper and easier for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
too.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store’s
security policies are not strict
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
that lead to fraud. Since scamming is a rare occasion, number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoppers
tend to rise.

While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is on an increase, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
products selling rate seems to be stable. The reason for this situation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
lesser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shop on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
rather
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
. With that
being said
, to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
products,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
can contribute their shop by joining an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
. This way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopper
can
conveniently
reach your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your selling rate.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
platform
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience with how convenient and simple to reach by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shoppers
. It can
also
revolutionize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
in a well known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
. While disadvantage can occur, trading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
with no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
intention can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
such indecent situation from happening.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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