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Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the art? v.11

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the art? v. 11
It is commonly believed that art occupies a significant part in worldwide culture. Meanwhile, nowadays, a great number of people tend to focus on business, scientific or technological fields rather than on artistic production. In this essay, I will consider the reasons behind it and what actions can be taken in order to handle it. The main reason of the lost interest towards pieces of art is the modern worldwide economic crisis, which leads to social and health implications throughout the globe. Thus, it appears that basic needs such as safety, accommodation, food and health care is not satisfied in many parts of the world. Even the developed countries are not able to provide an adequate health care system and cover basic needs for each one citizen. Thus, especially, today in the time of pandemic the world faces the enormous demand in new vaccines and medicines as well as technologies. Consequently, personal initiatives as well as businesses turned to high-tech and academic research, as they are very perspective fields. However, there are some measures can be applied to the increasing of the public involvement in artistic production. Firstly, the government should address the issues related to basic life requirements and as the situation improves, people will be naturally driven to objects of art because the creation in a form of painting or musical composition is an expression of human nature. In addition, it is feasible to allocate some funds to museums and galleries in order to organize free excursions as well as workshops for schoolchildren and adult enthusiasts. Thus, beholding famous works of art and learning how to depict and create themselves, people will be able to incorporate art in their daily lives. In conclusion, one of the fundamental reasons of decreasing of public interest in artistic works is the global social and economic crisis and the key to improving the trend is increasing the level of life for the population. As a result, having everything needed people will naturally turn into the depiction and creation.
It is
commonly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
occupies a significant part in worldwide culture. Meanwhile, nowadays, a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to focus on business, scientific or technological fields
rather
than on artistic production. In this essay, I will consider the reasons behind it and what actions can
be taken
in order to handle it.

The main reason of the lost interest towards pieces of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is the modern worldwide economic crisis, which leads to social and health implications throughout the globe.
Thus
, it appears that basic needs such as safety, accommodation, food and health care is not satisfied in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world. Even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
are not able to provide an adequate health care system and cover basic needs for each one citizen.
Thus
,
especially
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in the time of pandemic the world faces the enormous demand in new vaccines and medicines
as well
as technologies.
Consequently
, personal initiatives
as well
as businesses turned to high-tech and academic research, as they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
perspective fields.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures can
be applied
to the increasing of the public involvement in artistic production.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should address the issues related to basic life requirements and as the situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be
naturally
driven to objects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the creation in a form of painting or musical composition is an expression of human nature.
In addition
, it is feasible to allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
funds to museums and galleries in order to organize free excursions
as well
as workshops for schoolchildren and adult enthusiasts.
Thus
, beholding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and learning how to depict and create themselves,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be able to incorporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, one of the fundamental reasons of decreasing of public interest in artistic works is the global social and economic crisis and the key to improving the trend is increasing the level of life for the population.
As a result
, having everything needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
naturally
turn into the depiction and creation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the art? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the art? v.11