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What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online? v.2

What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online? v. 2
Nowadays, e-commerce is a popular way to buy or sell through the Internet. Not only consumers start to buy needed consumables, companies also tend to pay more attention to their online shops. In this essay, I will look into the benefits and drawback of this for both parties of commerce. Primarily, the most important problem of local shops is decreasing number of clients, due to buyers’ option of buying products online. Moreover, another disadvantage of online shopping is increasing number of online frauds because most of the time clients cannot see the product beforehand. With that, it is easy for fraudsters to do illegal business without being caught by law authorities. On the other hand, the obvious benefit of online shopping is an opportunity to purchase or sell products all over the world. For sellers this may be the way to enlarge their business by selling their products to a larger group of consumers, which is also a good situation for delivery services. In addition, people can buy anything they need no matter if it is in stock in their local shop or even in the city, which is good for chain stores. Furthermore, e-commerce is an important option for disabled people who struggle with going out of their homes. The most significant side of this is a variety of possible ways to change business for the better. For example, whilst people change their routine from going into shops to the online shopping, local retailers can consider creating an online shop in addition to their physical shop, or completely changing to e-commerce. Having looked at the pros and cons of online shopping, I can say that although there are quite a few drawbacks of increasing popularity of purchasing items through the internet, the possibilities and opportunities, which are available for sellers and buyers, are much more significant in numbers and importance.
Nowadays, e-commerce is a popular way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
or sell through the Internet. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
needed consumables,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
also
tend to pay more attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. In this essay, I will look into the benefits and drawback of this for both parties of commerce.

Primarily
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
problem of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
is decreasing number of clients, due to buyers’ option of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Moreover
, another disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
frauds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the time clients cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
beforehand. With that, it is easy for fraudsters to do illegal business without
being caught
by law authorities.

On the other hand
, the obvious benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
or sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
all over the world. For sellers this may be the way to enlarge their business by selling their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to a larger group of consumers, which is
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
situation for delivery services.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything they need no matter if it is in stock in their local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
or even in the city, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for chain stores.
Furthermore
, e-commerce is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
option for disabled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who struggle with going out of their homes.

The most significant side of this is a variety of possible ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
business for the better.
For example
, whilst
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their routine from going into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, local retailers can consider creating an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
in addition
to their physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
, or completely changing to e-commerce.

Having looked at the pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, I can say that although there are quite a few drawbacks of increasing popularity of purchasing items through the internet, the possibilities and opportunities, which are available for sellers and buyers, are much more significant in numbers and importance.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay What could be done to encourage people to buy local products? An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping online? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
311 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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