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People’s shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

People’s shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. v. 2
In contemporary era purchasing certain products has become as a regular behavior of the individual in many societies. It is thought by mob that individuals purchasing habits depend on their age rather than others components. I completely agree with the above notion that different age groups people have distinct styles. To commence with, it is true that same aged people have many interest as well as similar need in common. this would lead them to have similar behavior of choosing same product. The little aged children, for instance, are always looking for toys, entertaining objects, candy and chocolates, since quantity and variety depend on their priorities. Therefore, it is possible to classify customer based on their age in order to examine their shopping habits. Furthermore, trend or tradition of different aged group of person is the another main reason. To illustrate, youngsters love to wear western or bright colors cloths. Whereas, elderly person not only like tradition but also simple or light colors attire. In addition, wisdom of different age group people also play a vital role in shopping. such as, adolescent spend more many on worthless things however, senior are more experience and they buy purchase product more wisely. To conclude, it is easy for production or marketing team to classify the product with the help of age category. Because it is the initial step to divide item accordingly to the age than other element will be come after that.
In contemporary era purchasing certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has become as a regular behavior of the individual in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by mob that individuals purchasing habits depend on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
rather
than others components. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above notion that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have distinct styles.

To commence with, it is true that same aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
Possible agreement error. The noun interest seems to be countable; consider using: "many interests".
many interest
as well
as similar need in common.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
would lead them to have similar behavior of choosing same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
aged children,
for instance
, are always looking for toys, entertaining objects, candy and chocolates, since quantity and variety depend on their priorities.
Therefore
, it is possible to classify customer based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
in order to examine their shopping habits.

Furthermore
, trend or tradition of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aged group of person is the another main reason. To illustrate, youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to wear western or bright colors cloths. Whereas, elderly person not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
like tradition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
simple or light colors attire.
In addition
, wisdom of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
play a vital role in shopping.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
such
as, adolescent spend more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
on worthless things
however
, senior are more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
experience and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
more
wisely
.

To conclude
, it is easy for production or marketing team to classify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
category.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is the initial step to divide item
accordingly
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
than other element will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
after that.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay People’s shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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