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People’s shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Today, shopping occupies a significant place in everyone’s daily life. It is argued that people’s age influences their shopping choice more than other options. I disagree with this statement, because there are other important factors in shaping shopping habits. In our society there are observable differences between the brains of men and women and how they impact of purchase habits. Women tend to be more astute consumers than men, simply because they are willing to invest the time and energy to research and compare products. At the same time, their two-sided brain approach to problem solving makes them more receptive to emotional appeals that leads to more purchases which are important or not needed at all. For example, it is known that women make more than 85% of the consumer purchases and reputedly influence over 95% of total goods and services purchased. Women as a whole are considered more sophisticated shoppers than men, taking longer to make a buying decision. Another factor that could influence the shopping habits of people is our material status in society, which is why we are divided into rich and poor. Moreover, upper strata of society can afford much more, while lower income groups have to see their budget. For instance, rich people may not find any problem of buying costly products, but the average shopper will wonder if this thing is really needed before buying. In conclusion, age is not major factor in shopping habits, while gender segregation and material status play a crucial role in influencing trade purchases.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
occupies a significant place in everyone’s daily life. It
is argued
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s age influences their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
choice more than other options. I disagree with this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors in shaping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits.

In our society there are observable differences between the brains of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and how they impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
habits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
tend to be more astute consumers than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
,
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are willing to invest the time and energy to research and compare products. At the same time, their two-sided brain approach to
This noun or verb “problem-solving” is spelled with a hyphen.
problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more receptive to emotional appeals that leads to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
or not needed at all.
For example
, it
is known
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more than 85% of the consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
and
reputedly
influence over 95% of total
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
as a whole
are considered
more sophisticated shoppers than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, taking longer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a buying decision.

Another factor that could influence the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is our material status in society, which is why we
are divided
into rich and poor.
Moreover
, upper strata of society can afford much more, while lower income groups
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their budget.
For instance
, rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may not find any problem of buying costly products,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the average shopper will wonder if this thing is
really
needed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying.

In conclusion
, age is not major factor in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits, while gender segregation and material status play a crucial role in influencing trade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
.
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A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay People’s shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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