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what are the main causes of stress in modern life and how could stress be reduced? v.1

what are the main causes of stress in modern life and how could stress be reduced? v. 1
The world today is inevitably becoming more and more competitive. To cope up with this competitive world, people have to keep pace with it. Therefore, some people think that lives have become more stressful than before. In this essay, the causes behind this and the possible ways to tackle the problem will be discussed in detail. In today's high-tech world, there is so much to do for the people. People are busy and have no time for anything else. This has, however, impacted the lives of many individuals from children to adults, rich to poor. Firstly, children are anxious about facing the world in future. Therefore, to do this effectively they are fighting for the top position in universities and colleges with their counterparts. This, in turn, leads to the stress of achieving the goal in life. Lack of respect and light bonding in the family often contribute to a stressful life for adolescence. Sometimes the drug abuse issue by a family member ruins the peacefulness of the whole family. On the other hand, adults, who have already acquired knowledge and currently in a job, face the tension of salary to satisfy their needs and fulfil their desires. Job satisfaction and low income they earn is another factor for causing stress. Furthermore, the life also becomes stressful for those who are unemployed. Interestingly, people who are rich, well to do and have everything in life, also face problems likely insecurity. This is due to the fact that crime rate is increasing day by day. Hence, there can be an endless number of reasons behind this. Nevertheless, these problems could be tackled to some extent by enforcing few laws and regulations. For example, the government should take strict action against theft and criminals. They should be given acceptable punishment for the crime they commit. Secondly, patrolling should be increased in the areas where the crime rate is high. Moving onto the problems of competition and salaries, jobs should not be provided only on the basis of marks and salaries should be increased to some extent with the extra provision of rewards and incentives. Lastly, unemployment problem should be dealt with and new job opportunities should be opened up for those unemployed. To sum up, challenges and problems are the part of life. Everyone has to face it someday. According to me, it should be handled bravely and by making few practical changes so to overcome stress caused by it.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is
inevitably
becoming more and more competitive. To cope up with this competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with it.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have become more stressful than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. In this essay, the causes behind this and the possible ways to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
will
be discussed
in detail.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's high-tech
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much to do for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are busy and have no time for anything else. This has,
however
, impacted the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals from children to adults, rich to poor.
Firstly
, children are anxious about facing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
Therefore
, to do this
effectively
they are fighting for the top position in universities and colleges with their counterparts. This, in turn, leads to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of achieving the goal in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Lack of respect and light bonding in the family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
contribute to a stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for adolescence.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
the drug abuse issue by a family member ruins the peacefulness of the whole family.

On the other hand
, adults, who have already acquired knowledge and
currently
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, face the tension of salary to satisfy their needs and fulfil their desires.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
satisfaction and low income they earn is another factor for causing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
also
becomes stressful for those who
are unemployed
.
Interestingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are rich,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well to do
and have everything in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
also
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
likely insecurity.
This is due to the fact that
crime rate is increasing day by day.

Hence
, there can be an endless number of reasons behind this.
Nevertheless
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
could
be tackled
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent by enforcing few laws and regulations.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take strict action against theft and criminals. They should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
acceptable punishment for the crime they commit.
Secondly
, patrolling should
be increased
in the areas where the crime rate is high. Moving onto the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of competition and salaries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
should not
be provided
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the basis of marks and salaries should
be increased
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent with the extra provision of rewards and incentives.
Lastly
, unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
should
be dealt
with and new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities should
be opened
up for those unemployed.

To sum up, challenges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are the part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face it someday.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, it should
be handled
bravely
and by making few practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to overcome
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
caused by it.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay what are the main causes of stress in modern life and how could stress be reduced? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
408 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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