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what are the main causes of stress in modern life and how could stress be reduced? v.2

what are the main causes of stress in modern life and how could stress be reduced? v. 2
In these days, stress is getting the more serious problem that people face and the temp of the enormous rise of this issue is turning into a tremendous challenge. This essay will discuss the causes as well as examine the solutions of dealing with this issue. It is obvious that today’s modern and complicated world brings an immense amount of stressful pressure on the individuals than it was in the past. Firstly, highly competitive work environment stresses people in a greater way, while previously seeking a job and survival mechanism in the workplace was not too hard. Additionally, because of current necessity for women to go to work and, at the same time, to be a good wife as well as successfully raise children makes their lives more stressful. Moreover, increasing the level of women’s responsibilities puts enormous pressure on men who still need to earn and share the responsibilities with women. However, there are ways to tackle such problems. The main solution could be introduced by the government. For example, it can make the problem of seeking a job less stressful by creating more workplaces and organising agencies help potential employees meet their future job. Also, the government can create more social organisations that help families share responsibilities of raising children. To sum up, it is evident that the level of pressure that makes persons feel them more stressful is gaining momentum. There are several causes lead to it such as hardship to find a job and the fear of losing it as well as growing responsibilities on families. In spite of that, various solutions exist to mitigate these issues.
In these days,
stress
is getting the more serious problem that
people
face and the temp of the enormous rise of this issue is turning into a tremendous challenge. This essay will discuss the causes
as well
as examine the solutions of dealing with this issue.

It is obvious that
today
’s modern and complicated world brings an immense amount of
stressful
pressure on the individuals than it was in the past.
Firstly
,
highly
competitive work environment
stresses
people
in a greater way, while previously seeking a
job
and survival mechanism in the workplace was not too
hard
.
Additionally
,
because
of
current
necessity for women to go to work and, at the same time, to be a
good
wife
as well
as
successfully
raise children
makes
their
lives
more
stressful
.
Moreover
, increasing the level of women’s
responsibilities
puts enormous pressure on
men
who
still
need to earn and share the
responsibilities
with women.

However
, there are ways to tackle such problems. The main solution could
be introduced
by the
government
.
For example
, it can
make
the problem of seeking a
job
less
stressful
by creating more workplaces and
organising
agencies
help
potential employees
meet
their future
job
.
Also
, the
government
can create more social
organisations
that
help
families share
responsibilities
of raising children.

To sum up, it is evident that the level of pressure that
makes
persons feel them more
stressful
is gaining momentum. There are several causes lead to it such as hardship to find a
job
and the fear of losing it
as well
as growing
responsibilities
on families.
In spite of
that, various solutions exist to mitigate these issues.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay what are the main causes of stress in modern life and how could stress be reduced? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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