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Although most people are richer than in the past modern life seems very stressful and the number of people suffering from stress is at record levels What are the main causes of stress in modern life and how could stress be reduced v.2

Although most people are richer than in the past modern life seems very stressful and the number of people suffering from stress is at record levels What are the main causes of stress in modern life and how could stress be reduced v. 2
With the advent of technological advancement, e-commerce, which is becoming a global trend, has changed the way people purchase products and services. Online shopping is no longer a dream as the number of online shopping websites has increased dramatically. Admittedly, online shopping still contains deficiencies. However, the advantages of this technology far outweighs its drawbacks. To begin with, online shopping allows people to search for the products they desire quickly and to compare the prices easily without having to leave the comfort of their homes. Consumers need not travel a long distance to find what they like in hundreds of shops. Online shopping enables customers to get a service or a product at home. With the widespread usage of hand-hold smart devices, shopping is just a few finger taps away. It not only saves valuable time, but also enables us to use virtual currency, which is more secure than conventional transactions. Furthermore, consumers can purchase global products from multinational online marketplaces, such as Amazon, and compare the quality, specifications, prices and deals of a product before making decisions. These are not easily achievable if one shops in a mall. Every coin has two sides, though. While online shopping has clear advantages, there are the risks of fraudulent charges and having one’s information gathered for illicit purposes because of (due to) careless usage of credit cards or sensitive personal information. However, we can avoid these by not disclosing personal information to strangers on the Internet and changing passwords regularly. Additionally, it is hard for customers to examine the quality of the products because they are unable to touch or see the products they want to buy in reality. This demerit can be lessened by choosing notable brands. In conclusion, the benefits of online shopping are exceptional, while we can minimize many of the drawbacks. Without doubt, the overwhelming benefits online shopping has far outweighed the few demerits it has.
With the advent of technological advancement, e-commerce, which is becoming a global trend, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is no longer a dream as the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
websites has increased
dramatically
.
Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
still
contains deficiencies.
However
, the advantages of this technology far outweighs its drawbacks.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to search for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
they desire
quickly
and to compare the prices
easily
without having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the comfort of their homes. Consumers need not travel a long distance to find what they like in hundreds of shops.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
enables customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a service or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
at home. With the widespread usage of hand-hold smart devices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few finger taps away. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
saves valuable time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enables us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
virtual currency, which is more secure than conventional transactions.
Furthermore
, consumers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
marketplaces, such as Amazon, and compare the quality, specifications, prices and deals of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making decisions. These are not
easily
achievable if one shops in a mall.

Every coin has two sides, though. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
advantages, there are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of fraudulent charges and having one’s information gathered for illicit purposes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of (due to) careless usage of credit cards or sensitive personal information.
However
, we can avoid these by not disclosing personal information to strangers on the Internet and changing passwords
regularly
.
Additionally
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for customers to examine the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are unable to touch or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
in reality. This demerit can
be lessened
by choosing notable brands.

In conclusion
, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
are exceptional, while we can minimize
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the drawbacks. Without doubt, the overwhelming benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has far outweighed the few demerits it has.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Although most people are richer than in the past modern life seems very stressful and the number of people suffering from stress is at record levels What are the main causes of stress in modern life and how could stress be reduced v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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