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What are the causes of water shortages? Please also offer some solutions to this problem. Give some reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. v.2

What are the causes of water shortages? Please also offer some solutions to this problem. Give some reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. v. 2
Undoubtedly, water scarcity is becoming a worldwide problem, which puts human life in danger. In my opinion, there are several reasons for this issue, and various measures could be taken by governments and individuals to improve the situation. There is a variety of reasons why lack of fresh water resource to meet water demand. Initially, the pressure of the growing population on water resources is also responsible for water shortages. Overpopulation brings about a considerably request for water in three sectors namely agriculture, industry and households. As the matter of fact, irrigated farming practices expanded in recent decades consume an immense amount of water and waste much of that through inefficiencies. Secondly, climate change such as altered weather-patterns including droughts and floods is another contributor to water scarcity. It has undesirable influences on people’s lives. Fortunately, there are several actions that an individual or society could take to solve aforementioned problem. First, governments should spread awareness through media such as television and radio about the significance of water in our lives and encourage citizens to preserve this precious resource. Besides, farmers should take advantages of cutting-edge technology such as hybrid seeds to improve the output of crops and also use recycled water for irrigation. Moreover, rainwater should be stored and used for farming and domestic use to mitigate the water waste, fight climate change and safeguard our future. In conclusion, water shortage is a global problem that is caused mainly by the growth of population and climate change, which requires governments and citizens to be cooperated to solve this issue.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
scarcity is becoming a worldwide problem, which puts human life in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
. In my opinion, there are several reasons for this issue, and various measures could
be taken
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation.

There is a variety of reasons why lack of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resource to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
demand.
Initially
, the pressure of the growing population on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resources is
also
responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
shortages. Overpopulation brings about a
You used an adverb ('considerably') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('request') instead of another adjective.
considerably request
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in three sectors
namely
agriculture, industry and households. As the matter of fact, irrigated farming practices expanded in recent decades consume an immense amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and waste much of that through inefficiencies.
Secondly
, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
such as altered weather-patterns including droughts and floods is another contributor to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
scarcity. It has undesirable influences on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Fortunately
, there are several actions that an individual or society could take to solve aforementioned problem.
First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should spread awareness through media such as television and radio about the significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and encourage citizens to preserve this precious resource.
Besides
, farmers should take advantages of cutting-edge technology such as hybrid seeds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the output of crops and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
recycled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
for irrigation.
Moreover
, rainwater should
be stored
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for farming and domestic
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
mitigate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
waste, fight climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and safeguard our future.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
shortage is a global problem that
is caused
mainly
by the growth of population and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, which requires
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and citizens to
be cooperated
to solve this issue.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay What are the causes of water shortages? Please also offer some solutions to this problem. Give some reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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