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A serious problem affecting countries right across the globe is the lack of water for drinking, washing and other household uses. Why do many countries face water shortages, and what could be done to alleviate the problem? v.1

A serious problem affecting countries right across the globe is the lack of water for drinking, washing and other household uses. Why do many countries face water shortages, and what could be done to alleviate the problem? v. 1
In previous times, students preferred to obtain a degree from a university in their own country. But, in recent times, this has changed as they are given many opportunities to go overseas for studying. In this essay, I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this. One the one hand, there are several positive sides of this development. Firstly, students now have the chance to earn a degree from abroad, which could actually help in job prospects in their home. For instance, employers are much likely to employ someone who has studied overseas, this is especially true for developing countries. In addition, students who study abroad live an independent life can they have the opportunity to mix in diverse cultures. In other words, students gain the ability of living alone and mixing with a wider of people regardless the culture. One the other hand, there are also some drawbacks to this. Many talented students leave their home country to study aboard, which can affect the development of their country. For example, doctors and engineers are likely to stay in countries where there is a better quality of life. This leads to a shortage of these professionals in countries, more specifically developing countries, which in turn slows the development of own countries. In conclusion, in present time, people have a better chance of studying abroad than it ever was. This essay discussed the advantages and disadvantages of this.
In previous times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
preferred to obtain a degree from a university in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in recent times, this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to go overseas for studying. In this essay, I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of this development.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have the chance to earn a degree from abroad, which could actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in job prospects in their home.
For instance
, employers are much likely to employ someone who has studied overseas, this is
especially
true for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who study abroad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
an independent life can they have the opportunity to mix in diverse cultures.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain the ability of living alone and mixing with a wider of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
regardless the culture.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the other hand, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to study aboard, which can affect the development of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, doctors and engineers are likely to stay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where there is a better quality of life. This leads to a shortage of these professionals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, more
specifically
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which in turn slows the development of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries.

In conclusion
, in present time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a better chance of studying abroad than it ever was. This essay discussed the advantages and disadvantages of this.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay A serious problem affecting countries right across the globe is the lack of water for drinking, washing and other household uses. Why do many countries face water shortages, and what could be done to alleviate the problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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