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If we want to save the future of the planet, wewill have to drastically change our way of life. What is your opinion? v.2

If we want to save the future of the planet, wewill have to drastically change our way of life. What is your opinion? v. 2
Preserving the life on the planet is one of the top priority concerns that all individuals should widely participate in doing it by amending their behavior sharply toward the environment. In fact, I wholeheartedly concur that revising our current attitude against the planet resources will largely contribute to enhancing the quality of life on the earth. This essay aims to list some points which are supporting my point of view in further detail. To start with, there is no doubt that a plethora of correct actions might make a conspicuous impact on the future of the planet. First of all, changing our consumption pattern is a key role in maintaining wildlife diversity and avoiding deforestation. To illustrate, it’s irrefutable that there is a remarkable dependency on animals’ meat as a main food source for most of the people. Therefore, lots of green landscapes and natural lakes and rivers being used by animals’ farmers to feed animals. As a result, many forests might be effected. Thus, in order to save this great biodiversity, individuals should minimize the meat dominant diet and replace it with a plant based diet. Secondly, dirty power which comes from burning oil fossil is the main reason of pollution and will hugely affect the quality of life on the earth afterwards. Therefore, individuals should utilize any other more eco-friendly options for their daily commute or even for traveling abroad. However, governments also should encourage people to do so by investing more in the clean environment power sources such as solar, wind and many others. Take Masdar City in Abo Dhabi, as an example for a clean and healthy environment. Indeed, it’s the only friendly city across the world where the inhabitants use clear power. Since, it utilizes the sunlight to generate the needed power for the entire city. Furthermore, Masdar City uses friendly environmental transportation such as electric cars, buses, and train as the only transportation method. Thus, if all governments copied this great example, the upcoming generations on the planet would have a better quality of life. To sum up, saving our planet is the most significant matter which needs a massive collaboration between people by changing their behavior toward the natural resources and governments by investing more in clean and natural resources.
Preserving the life on the
planet
is one of the top priority concerns that all individuals should
widely
participate in doing it by amending their behavior
sharply
toward the environment. In fact, I
wholeheartedly
concur that revising our
current
attitude against the
planet
resources will
largely
contribute to enhancing the quality of life on the earth. This essay aims to list
some
points which are supporting my point of view in
further
detail.

To
start
with, there is no doubt that a plethora of correct actions might
make
a conspicuous impact on the future of the
planet
.
First of all
, changing our consumption pattern is a key role in maintaining wildlife diversity and avoiding deforestation. To illustrate, it’s irrefutable that there is a remarkable dependency on animals’ meat as a main food source for most of the
people
.
Therefore
, lots of green landscapes and natural lakes and rivers being
used
by animals’ farmers to feed animals.
As a result
,
many
forests might
be effected
.
Thus
, in order to save this great biodiversity, individuals should minimize the meat dominant diet and replace it with a plant based diet.

Secondly
, dirty
power
which
comes
from burning oil fossil is the main reason of pollution and will
hugely
affect the quality of life on the earth afterwards.
Therefore
, individuals should utilize any other more eco-friendly options for their daily commute or even for traveling abroad.
However
,
governments
also
should encourage
people
to do
so
by investing more in the clean environment
power
sources such as solar, wind and
many
others. Take
Masdar
City in
Abo
Dhabi
, as an example for a clean and healthy environment.
Indeed
, it’s the
only
friendly city across the world where the inhabitants
use
clear
power
. Since, it utilizes the sunlight to generate the needed
power
for the entire city.
Furthermore
,
Masdar
City
uses
friendly environmental transportation such as electric cars, buses, and train as the
only
transportation method.
Thus
, if all
governments
copied this great example, the upcoming generations on the
planet
would have a better quality of life.

To sum up, saving our
planet
is the most significant matter which needs a massive collaboration between
people
by changing their behavior toward the natural resources and
governments
by investing more in clean and natural resources.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay If we want to save the future of the planet, wewill have to drastically change our way of life. What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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