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With the increase demand of fuel people should look at the other untouched fuel places. Do you agree or disagree. v.2

With the increase demand of fuel people should look at the other untouched fuel places. v. 2
It is an irrefutable fact that the world is enduring global energy crisis due to rapidly-increasing economic activities and industrial operation. Some people wonder that whether the benefits of extracting fossil fuels such as crude oil and natural gas in faraway places eclipse its drawbacks or vice versa. Personally, I strongly believe that the advantages of extracting energy from faraway places dominate its drawbacks. The first significant reason is that excavating fossil fuels in isolated places will substantially contribute to nations’s economy. In fact, extracting and refining crude oil are currently accounting for a large part in the total GDP of many countries such as Russia, Quatar, UAE. Moreover, since these sources are untouched, the oil pockets will contain a vast quantity of crude oil and natural gas. For example, the gulf of Mexico is a faraway places which contain lots of oil under the ocean level. Consequently, countries whose advanced technology can extract fossil fuels and become thriving as well as prosperous. The second crucial argument is that exploiting remote energy sources will greatly reduce the number of energy conflicts between nations. We all know that since fossil fuels were discovered, countless wars have been waged for the control of this energy source such as the well-known Gulf War. As a result, when countries strive to extract energy from unknown places, they will definitely evade unecessary wars. For example, countries such as Russia are trying to extract oil and natural gas in Antarctica – a location that has no confused benefits about energy. In conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that the merits of exploiting fossil fuels in remote location exceed its detriments for that it can contribute greatly to nations’s GDP and create peace in the hot spots known for energy rivalry. Due to increasing world demands for oil and gas energy, people need to look for new sources of energy in remote and untouched natural places. Do advantages of locating these sources outweigh disadvantages damaging such places?
It is an irrefutable fact that the world is enduring global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
crisis due to
rapidly
-increasing economic activities and industrial operation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wonder that whether the benefits of extracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
such as crude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
in faraway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
eclipse its drawbacks or vice versa.
Personally
, I
strongly
believe that the advantages of extracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
from faraway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
dominate its drawbacks.

The
first
significant reason is that excavating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
in isolated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
will
substantially
contribute to
Did you mean "nation’s" or "nations’"?
nations’s
economy. In fact, extracting and refining crude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
are
currently
accounting for a large part in the total GDP of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as Russia,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Quatar
, UAE.
Moreover
, since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
are untouched
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
pockets will contain a vast quantity of crude
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
.
For example
, the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
gulf of Mexico
is a faraway
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "place"?
places
which contain lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
under the ocean level.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
whose advanced technology can extract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
and become thriving
as well
as prosperous.

The second crucial argument is that exploiting remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
will
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
conflicts between nations. We all know that since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
were discovered
, countless wars have
been waged
for the control of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
such as the well-known Gulf War.
As a result
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
strive to extract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
from unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, they will definitely evade
Possible spelling mistake found.
unecessary
wars.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as Russia are trying to extract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
in Antarctica
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
a location that has no confused benefits about energy.

In conclusion
, I once again reaffirm my position that the merits of exploiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
in remote location exceed its detriments for that it can contribute
greatly
to
Did you mean "nation’s" or "nations’"?
nations’s
GDP and create peace in the hot spots known for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
rivalry.

Due to increasing world demands for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to look for new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in remote and untouched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Do advantages of locating these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
outweigh disadvantages damaging such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
?
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay With the increase demand of fuel people should look at the other untouched fuel places. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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