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What are the causes of water shortages? Please also offer some solutions to this problem. Give some reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. v.1

What are the causes of water shortages? Please also offer some solutions to this problem. Give some reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. v. 1
The unending accommodation challenges in big cities has said to be the cause of most social vices. Although, there are countless factors and organisations that can put an end to this issue. But should only the government be saddled with the responsibility to put an end to this problem? This essay will argue against the fact that, it is only the government that can solve this crisis. Firstly, the private organisations should begin to include accommodation in the remuneration of their employees as housing is an essential factor for survival, as humans. In as much as the government has been doing so much nut the population keeps increasing ceaselessly, the private employers ought to do their bit by adding shelter plans for their staff, because the government cannot provide accommodation for the ever increasing populace. For example, a Nigerite Nigeria PLC built staff quarters at every plant they possess all around the federation. If most individually owned companies also erects staff quarters in their work stations, it reduces the shelter issues the citizens are currently facing which is a threat to security of lives and properties. In addition, financial institutions can also make mortgage plans more affordable and available to all levels of customers. For instance, A First Bank of Nigeria has a product named, First Mortage, which is aimed at customers who needs to get a shelter but would pay back with an interest. However, the financial institution can make their mortgage products more affordable so as to make more citizens, homeowners. Thereby, solving the housing problems the nation is encountering. In conclusion, privately owned companies should include accommodation plans in their remuneration packages to their employees. Also, the financial institutions should assist with affordable mortgage plans for their customers. This essay discussed that, it is not only the government that can provide answers to the unending questions about the housing issue.
The unending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
challenges in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities has said to be the cause of most social vices. Although, there are countless factors and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
that can put an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to this issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
be saddled
with the responsibility to put an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to this problem? This essay will argue against the fact that, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
that can solve this crisis.

Firstly
, the private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
in the remuneration of their employees as housing is an essential factor for survival, as humans. In as much as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has been doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much nut the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
increasing
ceaselessly
, the private employers ought to do their bit by adding shelter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
for their staff,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
cannot provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
for the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
populace.
For example
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nigerite
Nigeria PLC built staff quarters at every plant they possess all around the federation. If most
individually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
also
erects staff quarters in their work stations, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the shelter issues the citizens are
currently
facing which is a threat to security of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and properties.

In addition
, financial institutions can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mortgage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
more affordable and available to all levels of customers.
For instance
, A
First
Bank of Nigeria has a product named,
First
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mortage
, which
is aimed
at customers who
Did you mean "need"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'customers' should be used.
needs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a shelter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
would pay back with an interest.
However
, the financial institution can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their mortgage products more affordable
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more citizens, homeowners. Thereby, solving the housing problems the nation is encountering.

In conclusion
,
privately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accommodation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
in their remuneration packages to their employees.
Also
, the financial institutions should assist with affordable mortgage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
for their customers. This essay discussed that, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
that can provide answers to the unending questions about the housing issue.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay What are the causes of water shortages? Please also offer some solutions to this problem. Give some reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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