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What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a large city? v.1

What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a large city? v. 1
Nowadays, the populations of most countries have grown, and many people live in large cities. However for some people, choosing to live in a large city could be a hard decision, as that has its advantages as well as its disadvantages. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument. On the one hand, there are certain advantages to living in a large city. First of all, living in in a large metropolis is highly convenient. Amenities and facilities such as shops, clinics, schools, pharmacies and entertainment venues are likely to be within a reasonable distance. One would not have to go far to get to those places. Secondly, large cities also provide their residents with a wide range of educational and job opportunities. Schools are of higher quality, and the standard of education is often better in large cities. Moreover, employees can receive a higher salary and have better jobs there. Turning to the other side of the argument, living in large cities also has its downsides. With so many people living in such large cities, traffic is often very slow. During the rush hour, one could be stuck in traffic jams for hours and hours, moving an inch per minute. Furthermore, all those exhaust fumes from the hundreds of vehicles and emissions from factories make the air quite polluted, causing smog. Thus, living in a large polluted city with heavy traffic and the multitude of cars honking all day can never be peaceful and will definitely have deleterious effects on people’s health in the long run. In summary, living in a large city can be extremely convenient. It also provides people with better education and more job opportunities. However, living in such cities could also be quite stressful, with all the noise and traffic jams resulting in unhealthy noise and air pollution.
Nowadays, the populations of most countries have grown, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
city could be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
decision, as that has its advantages
as well
as its disadvantages. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument.

On the one hand, there are certain advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
city.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
Possible typo: you repeated a word
in in
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
metropolis is
highly
convenient. Amenities and facilities such as shops, clinics, schools, pharmacies and entertainment venues are likely to be within a reasonable distance. One would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go far to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to those places.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
also
provide their residents with a wide range of educational and job opportunities. Schools are of higher quality, and the standard of education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
better in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Moreover
, employees can receive a higher salary and have better jobs there.

Turning to the other side of the argument,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
also
has its downsides. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
slow. During the rush hour, one could
be stuck
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams for hours and hours, moving an inch per minute.
Furthermore
, all those exhaust fumes from the hundreds of vehicles and emissions from factories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the air quite polluted, causing smog.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
polluted city with heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and the multitude of cars honking all day can never be peaceful and will definitely have deleterious effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health in the long run.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
city can be
extremely
convenient. It
also
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with better education and more job opportunities.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
could
also
be quite stressful, with all the noise and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams resulting in unhealthy noise and air pollution.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a large city? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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