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Many people prefer to live in a city while others say that living in a rural area has more advantages. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countryside. v.1

Many people prefer to live in a city while others say that living in a rural area has more advantages. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countryside. v. 1
Several people think that the best places to live are in the country sides, while others choose to live in cities. Living in the city or in the rural area has their own positive and negative sides and the following paragraphs will explain them in details. It is a fact that living in the metropolitan or cosmopolitan cities has some advantages. Firstly, it is obvious that there are a lot of job opportunities in cities since most companies are opening their offices and factories in big cities. Secondly, there are a lot of health, transportation and entertainment facilities in cities, such as hospital, subway and cinemas. Many of the city people are enjoying these complete facilities. However, many people do not realise that living in cities has some disadvantages. In cities, traffic congestion and air pollution have become a serious problem and they have seriously threat the residents' health condition. On the other hand, many people like to live in the country areas since the quality of the air is better than in cities and less of noise pollution as well. Besides that, people who live in the country side are healthier than those who live in cities because they are less stress and have more time for relaxation. But, living in the rural area has a drawback as well. There are less public health facilities in the area and should there be a public hospital, the quality of the services is usually below the standard. In conclusion, living in big cities such as New York, London or Paris or in remote areas has their own benefits and drawbacks. I personally think that everyone has his own personal interest and opinion in term of living places, therefore people should choose them based on their own choices and options.
Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the best places to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
are in the country sides, while others choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
in the city or in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides and the following paragraphs will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

It is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the metropolitan or cosmopolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.
Firstly
, it is obvious that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
job opportunities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
since most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are opening their offices and factories in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
health, transportation and entertainment facilities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, such as hospital, subway and cinemas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the city
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people
are enjoying these complete facilities.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, traffic congestion and air pollution have become a serious
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problem and
they have
seriously
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "threated".
threat
the residents' health condition.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
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live
in the country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
since the quality of the air is better than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and less of noise pollution
as well
.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the country side are healthier than those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and have more time for relaxation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
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living
in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
has a drawback
as well
. There are less public health facilities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and should there be a public hospital, the quality of the services is
usually
below the standard.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
such as New York, London or Paris or in remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and drawbacks. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that everyone has his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal interest and opinion in term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
places,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should choose them based on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices and options.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people prefer to live in a city while others say that living in a rural area has more advantages. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city to living in the countryside. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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