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The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. To what extent do you agree? v.1

The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. v. 1
Nowadays, criminal activities committed by teenagers are on the rise. Some people believe, improving parental techniques in parents is the sole way to curb this growing trend. This essay will discuss why I just partially agree with this statement. There are two primary reasons why delinquency rate in youngsters cannot be controlled just by employing better parenting aides. Firstly, since teenagers spend most of their time with their friends, they get directly influenced by them. If they indulge into bad company, there become prone to criminal activities. For example, a young fellow I know used to play football in the ground located in front of my house, started smoking and in a span of six months I saw him having narcotics due to bad companionship of his peers. Secondly, seminaries also play an important role in grooming students and help them become a responsible citizen of the society. It has been observed that neither teachers nor our syllabus is in line to fulfil this vital requirement. For instance, students these days don't even know the importance of laws and its implications. Institutes must organize trips to jails where they should see the misery of the people who have committed crimes in the past. Clearly, lawbreaking actions can be reduced massively by avoiding bad company and having schools focus more on educating students on the importance of laws and repercussions of breaking them. On the flip side, since parents are role-model for their children, they simply try to replicate their actions. If parents are habitual of abiding by the laws, children will also be following them because parents are generally the most influential personalities for their descendants. For example, the government of UAE has initiated a reward program in order to appreciate good drivers on the roads. While interviewing the appreciated drivers most of them revealed that they adhere the traffic rules because their father used to do the same. Clearly, parents can play their part and improve the situation up to some extent. In conclusion, this essay discussed Why I believe that criminality in young criminals can be curtailed educating adolescents to void wicked fellowships and revisiting the emphasis of our education curriculum. In my opinion, I partially agree with the statement and believe that educating parents will only bring about limited results and other strategies can be employed to overcome this problem.
Nowadays, criminal activities committed by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are on the rise.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe, improving parental techniques in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is the sole way to curb this growing trend. This essay will discuss why I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

There are two primary reasons why delinquency rate in youngsters cannot
be controlled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by employing better parenting aides.
Firstly
, since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
spend most of their time with their friends, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
directly
influenced by them. If they indulge into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, there become prone to criminal activities.
For example
, a young fellow I know
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to play football in the ground located in front of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
smoking and in a span of six months I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
him having narcotics due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
companionship of his peers.
Secondly
, seminaries
also
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in grooming students and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them become a responsible citizen of the society. It has
been observed
that neither teachers nor our syllabus is in line to fulfil this vital requirement.
For instance
, students these days don't even know the importance of laws and its implications. Institutes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
organize trips to jails where they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the misery of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have committed crimes in the past.
Clearly
, lawbreaking actions can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
massively
by avoiding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and having schools focus more on educating students on the importance of laws and repercussions of breaking them.

On the flip side, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are role-model for their children, they
simply
try to replicate their actions. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are habitual of abiding by the laws, children will
also
be following them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
generally
the most influential personalities for their descendants.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the UAE".
of UAE
has initiated a reward program in order to appreciate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
drivers on the roads. While interviewing the appreciated drivers most of them revealed that they adhere the traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do the same.
Clearly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can play their part and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation up to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed Why I believe that criminality in young criminals can
be curtailed
educating adolescents to void wicked fellowships and revisiting the emphasis of our education curriculum. In my opinion, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and believe that educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring about limited results and other strategies can
be employed
to overcome this problem.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The only way to solve the increasing crime rate of young offenders is to teach parents better parenting skills. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
393 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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