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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.5

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. v. 5
Employee’s selection is a difficult process these days. Although some people believe that recruiters asking from employers about their hobbies, interests and whether they are married or single is a relevant to a job, others are against of this view. In my view, I agree with the former view and this essay will discuss both of the sides. On the one hand, personal information affects an employee performance in the work and I agree. If workers possess diverse range of hobbies such as playing games and reading, they would be productive in achieving tasks at hand. Similarly, the martial status affects the performance of a person. Married people have more responsibilities as compared to unmarried people, which could hinder or slow down their performance in the workplace. A recent study from Oxford University, for instance, showed that people who have extracurricular activities, reading and writing interests, and are single, perform 50% more better in the workforce environment as compared to those who do not possess these features. Thus, employers should consider these information while hiring a person. On the other hand, opponents of the former view say that these attributes are not critical and academic and experience in a particular field is of paramount importance. This is because these information do not have effect on the working of a person as tasks in offices are related to academic knowledge and experience. This, in turn, means other things such as personal interests, hobbies and marital status have no effect on their performance at work. Research by the World Business Authority, for example, revealed that efficiency of employees in business depend 40% on their academic and practical experience in the specific working domain and not on personal interests. Hence, individual interests and status are not correlating with employee’s performance and companies should hire individuals on the basis of academic achievements and experience. In conclusion, while some people opine that personal interests and marital status are irrelevant in employees hiring process, in my opinion, they are crucial as they increases performance-level at work.
Employee’s
selection is a difficult process these days. Although
some
people
believe that recruiters asking from employers about their hobbies,
interests
and whether they
are married
or single is a relevant to a job, others are against of this
view
. In my
view
, I
agree
with the former
view
and this essay will discuss both of the sides.

On the one hand,
personal
information affects an
employee
performance
in the work and I
agree
. If workers possess diverse range of hobbies such as playing games and reading, they would be productive in achieving tasks at hand.
Similarly
, the martial
status
affects the
performance
of a person. Married
people
have more responsibilities as compared to unmarried
people
, which could hinder or slow down their
performance
in the workplace. A recent study from Oxford University,
for instance
,
showed
that
people
who have extracurricular activities, reading and writing
interests
, and are single, perform 50%
more better
in the workforce environment as compared to those who do not possess these features.
Thus
, employers should consider
these information
while hiring a person.

On the other hand
, opponents of the former
view
say that these attributes are not critical and
academic
and experience in a particular field is of paramount importance. This is
because
these information
do not have effect on the working of a person as tasks in offices
are related
to
academic
knowledge and experience. This, in turn, means other things such as
personal
interests
, hobbies and marital
status
have no effect on their
performance
at work. Research by the World Business Authority,
for example
, revealed that efficiency of
employees
in business depend 40% on their
academic
and practical experience in the specific working domain and not on
personal
interests
.
Hence
, individual
interests
and
status
are not correlating with
employee’s
performance
and
companies
should hire individuals on the basis of
academic
achievements and experience.

In conclusion
, while
some
people
opine that
personal
interests
and marital
status
are irrelevant in
employees
hiring process, in my opinion, they are crucial as they
increases
performance-level at work.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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