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What are the advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live or study abroad? v.1

What are the advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live or study abroad? v. 1
Nowadays, many people move to another nation either to work or study for a couple of years or even the rest of their life. Therefore, it is important to know if this is a good idea or not. While the disadvantages of leaving your country may be harmful and depressing, I believe that the advantages, growing your career or study in developed countries are greater. First of all, moving to another nation, means completely alterations in your daily life. Each country have different cultures, habits as well as lifestyle. For example, many immigrants find difficulties to conform when they have to move from warm to cold countries. Moreover, immigration means leaving your neighbourhood, home and probably your parents. Many students who have taken the decision to study abroad, they feel depressed because of loneliness, away from their beloved people. However, I still believe that the overall effect of leaving your country is for the better. Many people in the world face financial problems because of the high rate of unemployment. Given the chance to emigrate may give individuals the chance to grow their career and to survive. For instance, many people from my country have moved to the UK because they have been unemployed for many years. Also, in many countries the education system is flawed, so studying abroad in better universities is a clear benefit for students. In conclusion, moving to another nation can be extremely difficult for everyone. Nevertheless, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of leaving your country.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another nation either to work or study for a couple of years or even the rest of their life.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to know if this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
or not. While the disadvantages of leaving your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
may be harmful and depressing, I believe that the advantages, growing your career or study in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are greater.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, moving to another nation, means completely alterations in your daily life. Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, habits
as well
as lifestyle.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
immigrants find difficulties to conform when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from warm to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Moreover
, immigration means leaving your
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
, home and
probably
your parents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
students who have taken the decision to study abroad, they feel depressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of loneliness, away from their beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, I
still
believe that the
overall
effect of leaving your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is for the better.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world face financial problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high rate of unemployment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the chance to emigrate may give individuals the chance to grow their career and to survive.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the UK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
been unemployed
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years.
Also
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
the education system
is flawed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
studying abroad in better universities is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
benefit for students.

In conclusion
, moving to another nation can be
extremely
difficult for everyone.
Nevertheless
, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of leaving your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay What are the advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live or study abroad? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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