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Some Young people are leaving country sides to live in cities and towns leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v.1

Some Young people are leaving country sides to live in cities and towns leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v. 1
In recent years, there has been a trend with young population leaving their native place in search of jobs and better opportunities in big cities often leaving old people on their own. The separation is painful for both the side but deemed necessary for survival. This essay will discuss the problems caused by this exodus, followed by proposed solutions to this problem. The young generation is constantly on move in search of better opportunities and lifestyles. People are migrating to different cities and countries, leaving behind the elders and often women in the family. This surge of people in the cities beyond its capacity has caused urban areas to be over-crowded. In addition to this, the increased burden has caused infrastructure to crumble and people to jostle for space and opportunities. For people left behind, the struggle is to survive with minimal resources and negligible development. Uttarakhand, in India is one such shining example of this pattern. The hills now bore the abundant state with houses in dilapidated condition. The solution to this problem lies in developing the countryside and villages at par with cities. The creation of job and education opportunities is the prerogative of the government. People should be trained with vocational courses on horticulture, fisheries and village handicrafts. Moreover, the government should provide them with regular source of income. Along with this, better medical colleges and educational institutions should be opened. If done, this will take burden off the cities while developing the countrysides that would then add to national income. To conclude, there is an urgent need to tackle this exodus and save both cities and countrysides from deteriorating further. The need is to maintain a balance between both the world while also creating a better living environment. The countrysides need a touch of development so that no man has to leave his family while he ventures into unexplored territory.
In recent years, there has been a trend with young population leaving their native place in search of jobs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leaving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. The separation is painful for both the side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
deemed necessary for survival. This essay will discuss the problems caused by this exodus, followed by proposed solutions to this problem.

The young generation is
constantly
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in search of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
and lifestyles.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are migrating to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and countries, leaving behind the elders and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
women in the family. This surge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
beyond its capacity has caused urban areas to be over-crowded.
In addition
to this, the increased burden has caused infrastructure to crumble and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to jostle for space and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind, the struggle is to survive with minimal resources and negligible development. Uttarakhand, in India is one such shining example of this pattern. The hills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
bore the abundant state with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in dilapidated condition.

The solution to this problem lies in developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
and villages at par with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
creation of job and education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
is the prerogative of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
be trained
with vocational courses on horticulture, fisheries and village handicrafts.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide them with regular source of income. Along with this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
medical colleges and educational institutions should
be opened
. If done, this will take burden off the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
while developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countrysides
that would then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to national income.

To conclude
, there is an urgent need to tackle this exodus and save both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countrysides
from deteriorating
further
. The need is to maintain a balance between both the world while
also
creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
living environment. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countrysides
need a touch of development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
his family while he ventures into unexplored territory.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some Young people are leaving country sides to live in cities and towns leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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