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Some young people are leaving the country to anothers, leaving only old people in the country. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v.1

Some young people are leaving the country to anothers, leaving only old people in the country. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v. 1
A few young men likes to migrate to another country for better opportunities that predisposed the proliferation of greying people in that country. This essay will discuss the aftermaths of that issue and put forward several solutions to this. There are plethora of problems that caused by this. One among is that, young people are the backbone of a healthy society. In other words, although elder people are meticulous and impeccable, their productivity almost forefeited. Consequently, they do not have anything to do for the nation's growth. On the other hand, a countrie's growth is in the hands of youngsters that are so meticulous and zealous. Without them, an economy may not grow to further level. More over, they may not be sufficient manpower available, if young generation is decided to leave their place. For instance, Canada is embracing a myriads of young blood to their country in order to boost their economy, because, majority of their population is greying. We can prevent this kind of immigration to minimal by doing some precautions. Firstly, government should encourage their citizens with enough job opportunities that provides good remuneration and perks. As a result, they do not have the tendency to go abroad for a better job prospect. Secondly, authorities should have provide some pension to unemployed youth in order to fulfill their daily needs. For example, in America, government is providing some monetary benefits to their unemployed people over a certain age. In conclusion, a lot of young people are leaving their country leads to the problems such as the booming of elderly people and the unavailabity of man power to some jobs. We can minimize this by adding more job opportunities and also government should provide some pension to the unemployed.
A few
young
men
likes to migrate to another
country
for better opportunities that predisposed the proliferation of
greying
people
in that
country
. This essay will discuss the aftermaths of that issue and put forward several solutions to this.

There are plethora of problems that caused by this. One among is that,
young
people
are the backbone of a healthy society.
In other words
, although elder
people
are meticulous and impeccable, their productivity almost
forefeited
.
Consequently
, they do not have anything to do for the nation's growth.
On the other hand
, a
countrie
's growth is in the hands of youngsters that are
so
meticulous and zealous. Without them, an economy may not grow to
further
level. More over, they may not be sufficient manpower available, if
young
generation
is decided
to
leave
their place.
For instance
, Canada is embracing
a myriads
of
young
blood to their
country
in order to boost their economy,
because
,
majority of
their population is
greying
.

We can
prevent
this kind of immigration to minimal by doing
some
precautions.
Firstly
,
government
should encourage their citizens with
enough
job
opportunities that provides
good
remuneration and perks.
As a result
, they do not have the tendency to go abroad for a better
job
prospect.
Secondly
, authorities should have
provide
some
pension to unemployed youth in order to fulfill their daily needs.
For example
, in America,
government
is providing
some
monetary benefits to their unemployed
people
over a certain age.

In conclusion
,
a lot of
young
people
are leaving their
country
leads to the problems such as the booming of elderly
people
and the
unavailabity
of
man
power to
some
jobs
. We can minimize this by adding more
job
opportunities and
also
government
should provide
some
pension to the unemployed.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some young people are leaving the country to anothers, leaving only old people in the country. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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