Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some young people are leaving the country to anothers, leaving only old people in the country. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v.1

Some young people are leaving the country to anothers, leaving only old people in the country. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v. 1
A few young men likes to migrate to another country for better opportunities that predisposed the proliferation of greying people in that country. This essay will discuss the aftermaths of that issue and put forward several solutions to this. There are plethora of problems that caused by this. One among is that, young people are the backbone of a healthy society. In other words, although elder people are meticulous and impeccable, their productivity almost forefeited. Consequently, they do not have anything to do for the nation's growth. On the other hand, a countrie's growth is in the hands of youngsters that are so meticulous and zealous. Without them, an economy may not grow to further level. More over, they may not be sufficient manpower available, if young generation is decided to leave their place. For instance, Canada is embracing a myriads of young blood to their country in order to boost their economy, because, majority of their population is greying. We can prevent this kind of immigration to minimal by doing some precautions. Firstly, government should encourage their citizens with enough job opportunities that provides good remuneration and perks. As a result, they do not have the tendency to go abroad for a better job prospect. Secondly, authorities should have provide some pension to unemployed youth in order to fulfill their daily needs. For example, in America, government is providing some monetary benefits to their unemployed people over a certain age. In conclusion, a lot of young people are leaving their country leads to the problems such as the booming of elderly people and the unavailabity of man power to some jobs. We can minimize this by adding more job opportunities and also government should provide some pension to the unemployed.
A few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
likes to migrate to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for better opportunities that predisposed the proliferation of
Possible spelling mistake found.
greying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This essay will discuss the aftermaths of that issue and put forward several solutions to this.

There are plethora of problems that caused by this. One among is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the backbone of a healthy society.
In other words
, although elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are meticulous and impeccable, their productivity almost
Possible spelling mistake found.
forefeited
.
Consequently
, they do not have anything to do for the nation's growth.
On the other hand
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
countrie
's growth is in the hands of youngsters that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
meticulous and zealous. Without them, an economy may not grow to
further
level. More over, they may not be sufficient manpower available, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation
is decided
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their place.
For instance
, Canada is embracing
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a myriad" or simply "myriads"?
a myriads
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
blood to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in order to boost their economy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
their population is
Possible spelling mistake found.
greying
.

We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this kind of immigration to minimal by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precautions.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage their citizens with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities that provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
remuneration and perks.
As a result
, they do not have the tendency to go abroad for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
prospect.
Secondly
, authorities should have
Use past participle here: "provided".
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pension to unemployed youth in order to fulfill their daily needs.
For example
, in America,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
monetary benefits to their unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over a certain age.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are leaving their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
leads to the problems such as the booming of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
unavailabity
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
power to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. We can minimize this by adding more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pension to the unemployed.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some young people are leaving the country to anothers, leaving only old people in the country. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts