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What are the advantages and disadvantages of a CCTV camera in public places? v.1

What are the advantages and disadvantages of a CCTV camera in public places? v. 1
For the time being, closed-circuit television has become commonplace in most cities all over the world. Just like everything else it could be a double edged sword. In other words, in spite of the beneficial points come with it like preventing law breaking plus arresting law breakers, some trouble might be caused by that for example invading to the privacy of public and reducing policing patrol. This essay will discuss about both views following by drawing some conclusion. On the positive side, stopping criminals in many cases probably surely is one of the advantageous aspects of video surveillance. For instance a massive number of people strongly believe that monitoring is highly effective in decreasing the number of shoplifting in numerous towns. Secondly, it would be a great help with identifying possible suspects if a crime is committed. So no villain could be safe from the police. Therefore, societies are likely to be kept away from villains. Turning to the other side of the argument, the first objection is that this subject is likely to result in invading to the seclusion of each individual. Thus, everyone may think that governments are spying on the private lives of civilians. Another issue is that many are concerned about reclining of police patrolling which might happen because of countless security systems. Then men and women may feel unsafe due to the fact that they would see fewer policemen. Taking all things into consideration, security cameras have been normally used in the whole world. It brings several profits, which involve deterring illegal actions. Moreover, it can be used effectively to find offenders in a large number of situations. However, it might be intrusive as well as it would end up with a reduction in the number of police forces. Despite the negative points I personally believe that what we gain is much more than we lose from the usage of security camera.
For the time being, closed-circuit television has become commonplace in most cities all over the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
like everything else it could be a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
double edged
sword.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the beneficial points
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with it like preventing law breaking plus arresting law breakers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trouble might
be caused
by that
for example
invading to the privacy of public and reducing policing patrol. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about both
views following by drawing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conclusion.

On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, stopping criminals in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases
probably
surely
is one of the advantageous aspects of video surveillance.
For instance
a massive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
strongly
believe that monitoring is
highly
effective in decreasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of shoplifting in numerous towns.

Secondly
, it would be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with identifying possible suspects if a crime
is committed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
no villain could be safe from the police.
Therefore
, societies are likely to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
away from villains.

Turning to the other side of the argument, the
first
objection is that this subject is likely to result in invading to the seclusion of each individual.
Thus
, everyone may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are spying on the private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of civilians.

Another issue is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are concerned
about reclining of police patrolling which might happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of countless security systems. Then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women may feel unsafe due to the fact that they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
fewer policemen.

Taking all things into consideration, security cameras have been
normally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the whole world. It brings several profits, which involve deterring illegal actions.
Moreover
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
effectively
to find offenders in a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of situations.
However
, it might be intrusive
as well
as it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with a reduction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of police forces. Despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points I
personally
believe that what we gain is much more than we lose from the usage of security camera.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay What are the advantages and disadvantages of a CCTV camera in public places? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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