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In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places? v.1

In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. with banning smoking in public places? v. 1
These days, people face many unusual laws such as ban smoking in restaurants or bars as well as not allow riding bikes in many areas. This kind of law might be uncomfortable for sorrowful people and they think that this is a wrong decision. however, I am of the opinion that there are more advantages for all people than drawbacks. In this essay, I will support my opinion with examples. Let us start with the reasons why I disagree with this idea. First of all, there is a beneficial effect on health. Facts show that the smokers' amount will be declining as well as passive smokers are protected against unintentionally second-hand smoking. What I mean by this is that more people kick the habit. Not only that, prohibit smoking is more comfortable for people who have a child or have an allergy to fumes. If you have your small children with you definitely you will not be happy if the smokes are everywhere. It is sometimes difficult to find a place free of smoke to enjoy with your family. Turning to the other side of the argument, we cannot deny that some people are disappointed with this law, they are considering this interfering with their freedom, and restrain them. For instance, by restricting smoking inside bars or restaurants they cannot sale own products as much as before. Due to this reason, the guests go out for smoking and will not stay that long because they feel uncomfortable and prefer sitting. As a result, many bars or restaurants go bankrupt. To sum up, after looking at this topic, I think that this ban's of the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Prohibiting smoking has a positive effect on people's health and wellness. However, it is important to bear in mind that we must be sure these laws, not disturb the person's small business like bars or restaurants.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unusual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
such as ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
or bars
as well
as not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
riding bikes in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
might be uncomfortable for sorrowful
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decision.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, I am of the opinion that there are more advantages for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than drawbacks. In this essay, I will support my opinion with examples.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with the reasons why I disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there is a beneficial effect on health. Facts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the smokers' amount will be declining
as well
as passive smokers
are protected
against
unintentionally
second-hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. What I mean by this is that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
kick the habit. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, prohibit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is more comfortable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a child or have an allergy to fumes. If you have your
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
children with you definitely you will not be happy if the smokes are everywhere. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
difficult to find a place free of smoke to enjoy with your family.

Turning to the other side of the argument, we cannot deny that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are disappointed
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
, they are considering this interfering with their freedom, and restrain them.
For instance
, by restricting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
inside bars or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
they
The word 'sale' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
cannot sale
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
products as much as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Due to this reason, the guests go out for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and will not stay that long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel uncomfortable and prefer sitting.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
bars or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
go bankrupt.

To sum up, after looking at this topic, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this ban's of the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Prohibiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health and wellness.
However
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to bear in mind that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be sure these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
, not disturb the person's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business like bars or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. with banning smoking in public places? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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