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In recent years many governments has brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places? v.1

In recent years many governments has brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. with banning smoking in public places? v. 1
It is undeniable that smoking is injurious to health and many governments are taking measures to create awareness to people about the health problems caused by smoking. More and more young people fall prey to smoking habits and hence governments are bringing in laws to ban smoking in public places with an intention to encourage people to stop smoking. I totally agree with this move by the government. Firstly, smoking causes serious health issues not only for smokers, but also for non-smokers. A recent study has proven that passive smokers get equally affected as smokers. Moreover, if someone is smoking in public places, it is very uncomfortable for non-smokers as it causes uneasiness and headache for non-smokers. Secondly, smoking in public places can cause fire accidents. For example, in March 2019 there was serious fire accident in an air show that happened in Bangalore which was caused due to burning cigar bud. Many cars were burnt and some people got injured. Finally, young children see people smoking in public places and feel smoking is cool and get tempted to try smoking. Also, kids get into bad habits like stealing money and telling lies. On the other hand some people feel that there should be no ban on smoking. People who are addicted to smoking cannot stay for long hours without smoking and they feel that there should be a smoking zone in public places rather that a complete ban. In conclusion, since smoking causes serious health damages government should ban people from smoking in public places and serious measures should be taken to educate teenagers about the ill effects of smoking. However, there can be a designated area for smoking in offices, restaurants, etc so that smokers can use this area alone for smoking than causing discomfort for other people by smoking in public places.
It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is injurious to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are taking measures to create awareness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. More and more young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fall prey to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
habits and
hence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are bringing in laws to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
with an intention to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for smokers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for non-smokers. A recent study has proven that passive smokers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
equally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as smokers.
Moreover
, if someone is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
uncomfortable for non-smokers as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
uneasiness and headache for non-smokers.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
fire accidents.
For example
, in March 2019 there was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
fire accident in an air
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that happened in Bangalore which
was caused
due to burning cigar bud.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
cars
were burnt
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
injured.
Finally
, young children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is cool and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tempted to try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
Also
, kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits like stealing money and telling lies.

On the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that there should be no ban on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
cannot stay for long hours without
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
smoking and
they feel that there should be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
zone in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
rather
that a complete ban.

In conclusion
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
damages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
measures should
be taken
to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
about the ill effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
However
, there can be a designated area for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in offices, restaurants, etc
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that smokers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this area alone for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
than causing discomfort for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
56Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In recent years many governments has brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants and offices. with banning smoking in public places? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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