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What advice would you give to a child just starting school? Why do you think this advice will be helpful to the child? Use details and examples to explain your answer. v.1

What advice would you give to a child just starting school? Why do you think this advice will be helpful to the child? . v. 1
Plastic bags play a vital role in polluting the environment. Some believe that the government must be put a ban on the manufacturing of plastic bags because these affect the human health and adversely impact marine life. I agree with this statement. Since plastic bags are dumped in the landfill, plastic molecules mix in the air and land. The population is directly consuming the plastic particles through the air. These plastic molecules are silent killers of the human body and deteriorate the human health in such a way that leads to diseases like food poisoning. For example, in 2004, a lot of farmers got sick in Mumbai, India because they used to grow vegetables in the area which was used to dump the plastic wastes. Hence, a ban on plastic is the only solution to save humans from such health problems. Moreover, the marine species swallow plastic bags with their foods. As plastic is indigestible, these often blocks the food pipe of animals like sharks and whales and they ended up with death. A report by the World Health Organisation has revealed that every year, 10 million fishes die due to the consumption of polythene. In addition to this, if there will be no stop on the use of plastic bags, it could lead to the extinction of rare water species that would make the situation worse. In conclusion, in my opinion, banning plastic bags is the only solution to mitigate human health problems and to save marine life. If it will not be banned, then the society has to pay heavily.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
play a vital role in polluting the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be put
a ban on the manufacturing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
adversely
impact marine life. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
are dumped
in the landfill,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
molecules mix in the air and land. The population is
directly
consuming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
particles through the air. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
molecules are silent killers of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
body and deteriorate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in such a way that leads to diseases like food poisoning.
For example
, in 2004,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
farmers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
sick in Mumbai, India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to grow vegetables in the area which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to dump the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
wastes.
Hence
, a ban on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
from such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.

Moreover
, the marine species swallow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
with their foods. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
is indigestible, these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
blocks the food pipe of animals like sharks and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
whales and
they ended up with death. A report by the World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
has revealed that every year, 10 million fishes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
due to the consumption of polythene.
In addition
to this, if there will be no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
, it could lead to the extinction of rare water species that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the situation worse.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to mitigate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems and to save marine life. If it will not
be banned
, then the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay
heavily
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay What advice would you give to a child just starting school? Why do you think this advice will be helpful to the child? . v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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