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Recently some students need to arrive school at the early time in the morning. Some people think that starting school day early is a good approach to support learning, while other people think that starting school day at the later time is better. Which on v.1

Recently some students need to arrive school at the early time in the morning. Some people think that starting school day early is a good approach to support learning, while other people think that starting school day at the later time is better. Which on v. 1
School days typically start early in the morning around the world. However, this brings up a controversial question: is it really beneficial to start school day early in the morning? Personally speaking, I firmly believe that starting schools early in the morning is better. There are three points in support of my viewpoint that are discussed in the following passage. The first and the foremost reason why I support this perspective is that going to school early in the morning prepares them for their future lives. Undoubtedly, office hours start early in the morning in the the society in which children live. Therefore, they have to get up early in the morning in future in order to take care of their daily tasks. Additionally, most job environments enact rules for their employees to be at their offices in the beginning of the day, so how would an adult get along with such regulations if he did not adapt himself to getting up early when he was younger? Furthermore, starting school day in early hours of the day provide children to refresh themselves in the clean air in the beginning of the day. Schools usually encourage children to have some exercise before going to classes; therefore, most students find it a good way not only to make their bodies ready for a working day, but also to exercise their minds to have better thinking and imagination. Finally, starting school day in the early hours of the day help students to learn more. In fact, according to recent research learning process occurs more efficiently in the early hours of the morning compared with that occurs at later time. In other words, children’s brain is able to well analyze and remember new information after 8-hour sleep at night. Thus, this agrees with the conventional schools’ schedules. Overall, taking into account all these factors, I conclude that although there are advantages and disadvantages to both time arrangements, starting school day early in the morning outweighs the other other option. Starting a school day early in the morning offers an opportunity for educators to better prepare students for the future, to make them exercise their minds and bodies, and also to better manage the learning process.
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School
days
typically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
around the world.
However
, this brings up a controversial question: is it
really
beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
?
Personally
speaking, I
firmly
believe that starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. There are three points in support of my viewpoint that
are discussed
in the following passage.

The
first
and the foremost reason why I support this perspective is that going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
prepares them for their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Undoubtedly
, office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
in
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
society in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
in future in order to take care of their daily tasks.
Additionally
, most job environments enact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for their employees to be at their offices in the beginning of the day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
how would an adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along with such regulations if he did not adapt himself to getting up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
when he was younger?

Furthermore
, starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of the day provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to refresh themselves in the clean air in the beginning of the day.
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Schools
usually
encourage
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children
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to classes;
therefore
, most students find it a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their bodies ready for a working day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to exercise their minds to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
thinking and imagination.

Finally
, starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of the day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students to learn more. In fact, according to recent research learning process occurs more
efficiently
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
compared with that occurs at later time.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
brain is able to well analyze and remember new information after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
8-hour
sleep at night.
Thus
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools’
schedules.

Overall
, taking into account all these factors, I conclude that although there are advantages and disadvantages to both time arrangements, starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
outweighs the
Possible typo: you repeated a word
other other
option. Starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
offers an opportunity for educators to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
prepare students for the future, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them exercise their minds and bodies, and
also
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
manage the learning process.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Recently some students need to arrive school at the early time in the morning. Some people think that starting school day early is a good approach to support learning, while other people think that starting school day at the later time is better. Which on v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
371 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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