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Weddings are more expensive in many countries comparison present and past What is the reason behind this Is this a positive or a negative development v.2

Weddings are more expensive in many countries comparison present and past What is the reason behind this Is this a positive or a negative development v. 2
Compare to the past, these days, marriage ceremonies are more lavish in myriad countries. One major cause behind this behavior is the impact of social networking sites on people' s life. Despite having advantages this has countless disadvantages due to its relationship to the economic condition. To begin, social networking sites such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter cleverly convince its members to upload their special moment' s photos for its business purposes and people tend to do that, as a result, the tendency showing off increases. Moreover, the wedding program considers being one of the crucial periods of human life, which is why individual spend as much as possible to make it grand and also bragging about it on social media. For example, 55% of married couple accept the fact that they spend huge capital on their big day to not to get embarrassed by their Facebook friend. So, big budget weddings are not only increasing, but also getting famous day by day. However, this method has a devastating effect on a person' s economic condition because a number of people do not have the ability to have a big fat wedding. If they have a budget crossed expenses, they try to solve the issue by taking a marriage loan. For instance, a renowned bank shows a percentage of taking a wedding loan in 2012 was around 30%, which dramatically increase in 2018 by a percentage of 65%. In addition, it might be difficult for a newlywed couple to get over these debts. Costly weddings are harmful and it is a negative development. In conclusion, in modern days wedding cost are more expensive than the old days, this is because of the strong position of social networking sites on people' s life. For its dangerous effect on a person' s economic condition it surely is a negative development.
Compare to the past, these days, marriage ceremonies are more lavish in myriad countries. One major cause behind this behavior is the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s life. Despite having advantages this has countless disadvantages due to its relationship to the economic condition.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter
cleverly
convince its members to upload their special
Possible spelling mistake found.
moment&
#039; s photos for its business purposes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to do that,
as a result
, the tendency showing off increases.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
program considers being one of the crucial periods of human life, which is why individual spend as much as possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it grand and
also
bragging about it on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.
For example
, 55% of married couple accept the fact that they spend huge capital on their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
day
One 'to' seems to be obsolete.
to not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
embarrassed by their Facebook friend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
budget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increasing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
day by day.

However
, this method has a devastating effect on a
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s economic condition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have the ability to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
. If they have a budget crossed expenses, they try to solve the issue by taking a marriage loan.
For instance
, a renowned bank
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a percentage of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
loan in 2012 was around 30%, which
dramatically
increase in 2018 by a percentage of 65%.
In addition
, it might be difficult for a newlywed couple to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
over these debts. Costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
are harmful and it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

In conclusion
, in modern days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
cost are more expensive than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the strong position of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s life. For its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
effect on a
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s economic condition it
surely
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Weddings are more expensive in many countries comparison present and past What is the reason behind this Is this a positive or a negative development v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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