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Weddings are more expensive in many countries comparison present and past What is the reason behind this Is this a positive or a negative development v.1

Weddings are more expensive in many countries comparison present and past What is the reason behind this Is this a positive or a negative development v. 1
The habit of smoking is rising these days. It has adverse effects not only on the health of active smokers but also on passive smokers. Owing to this, many governments have banned smoking in public areas and people have to go to designated areas to smoke. In my opinion, this is a good practice because it will prevent / stop people from smoking to some extent and also it will save others from the evils of passive smoking. The following paragraphs will provide an in-depth insight into the topic. Smoking could be a choice for many people, but the others who are around them also have to face hazardous health consequences when they inhale the smoke unknowingly. For instance, a study has shown that 60% of the passive smokers, who stay around the active smokers, suffer from severe diseases such as lung cancer and respiratory issues. Therefore, by restricting people from smoking in public places, other people will get benefited. Another point to consider is that when smoking is prohibited in public areas, people will feel embarrassed and this feeling of guilt will work as a deterrent. Moreover, it would be inconvenient for them to step out of their houses or offices every time they feel like smoking. Although smoking is a hard habit to break this ban on public speaking will certainly force them to reduce smoking. To conclude, smokers are aware of the disastrous consequences of smoking and in spite of this they smoke. Hence, the government has banned smoking in public places. This approach will certainly benefit passive smokers and will discourage smokers from smoking to some extent.
The habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is rising these days. It has adverse effects not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the health of active smokers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passive
smokers. Owing to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have banned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
areas and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to designated areas to smoke. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
practice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
/
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent and
also
it will save others from the evils of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. The following paragraphs will provide an in-depth insight into the topic.

Smoking could be a choice for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the others who are around them
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face hazardous health consequences when they inhale the smoke
unknowingly
.
For instance
, a study has shown that 60% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passive
smokers, who stay around the active smokers, suffer from severe diseases such as lung cancer and respiratory issues.
Therefore
, by restricting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefited. Another point to consider is that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is prohibited
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
areas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will feel embarrassed and this feeling of guilt will work as a deterrent.

Moreover
, it would be inconvenient for them to step out of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
or offices every time they feel like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
habit to break this ban on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking will
certainly
force them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
smoking.

To conclude
, smokers are aware of the disastrous consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
this they smoke.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has banned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places. This approach will
certainly
benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passive
smokers and will discourage smokers from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Weddings are more expensive in many countries comparison present and past What is the reason behind this Is this a positive or a negative development v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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