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Weddings are more expensive in many countries comparison present and past. What is the reason behind this? Is this a positive or a negative development? v.1

Weddings are more expensive in many countries comparison present and past. What is the reason behind this? Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1
The rising costs of wedding in many nations is increasingly being witnessed these days. This essay will discuss the main causes of this trend including growing income and increased life expectancy. This essay will also explain why I believe this tendency can also stimulate many positive impacts on our society. There are various compelling reasons why this trend is ubiquitous nowadays and the prominent one is that the average income of people is increased compared to the past as we tend to work harder to receive higher financial rewards which can improve our living conditions. Additionally, we are expecting an unforgettable, unique wedding memories as this event plays a significant part in our life. Take myself for example, my family spent a fortune when my brother got married last year because we all wish that an extravagant wedding ceremony can give him a once-a-life experience. For these reasons, people are willing to pay for the lavish wedding costs. The crucial beneficial factor of this tendency is that it can effectively stimulate the economy growth as the tertiary industry will be hugely benefited because of this. For instance, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that the growing domestic consumption in recent years has made meaningful contributions to the economic growth. As can be seen, this advantage has a profound impact on us. To sum up, people spend more money on weddings than in the past. This essay discussed how this change occurred including higher salaries and looking for unique memories. This essay also explained why the positive aspects of this tendency are superior.
The rising costs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations is
increasingly
being witnessed
these days. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss the main causes of this trend including growing income and increased life expectancy. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I believe this tendency can
also
stimulate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on our society.

There are various compelling reasons why this trend is ubiquitous nowadays and the prominent one is that the average income of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is increased
compared to the past as we tend to work harder to receive higher financial rewards which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our living conditions.
Additionally
, we are expecting an unforgettable, unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
memories as this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
plays a significant part in our life. Take myself
for example
, my family spent a fortune when my brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married last year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we all wish that an extravagant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
ceremony can give him a once-a-life experience. For these reasons,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are willing to pay for the lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
costs.

The crucial beneficial factor of this tendency is that it can
effectively
stimulate the economy growth as the tertiary industry will be
hugely
benefited
because of this
.
For instance
, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that the growing domestic consumption in recent years has made meaningful contributions to the economic growth. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, this advantage has a profound impact on us.

To sum up,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
than in the past. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed how this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
occurred including higher salaries and looking for unique memories. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
why the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of this tendency are superior.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS essay Weddings are more expensive in many countries comparison present and past. What is the reason behind this? Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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