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Doctors in many countries concern that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What cause this? How this can be solved? v.2

Doctors in many countries concern that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What cause this? How this can be solved? v. 2
Physicians in several nations worry about people are not doing the right amount of physical activity they should do. Lack of interest and place are considered to be two main facts behind this issue, however, the solution is simple and easy such as making people understand the importance of it and building new exercise zones. To begin with, every type of outdoor and indoor activity needs lots of energy, as a result, individuals are more likely to skip this. For example, one research found 75% of people find it extremely hard to do sports, yoga, gym and so on. Thus, they tend to avoid it. Moreover, working out place are few in numbers, especially in urban areas where air quality is poor. For instance, Dhaka place not only number one air polluted city, but also an overpopulated metropolitan with rarely have open space which is enough to demotivate anyone doing warm up. Overcoming upper mentioned trouble is absolutely straightforward. Some campaign should start to make commoner realize the significance of this activity to their fitness. To give a clear example, understanding the effect of physical exercise will not only convince citizen to be health conscious resulting lowering obese rate. Another possible solution is developing certain numbers of activity park. In addition, keep the air as clean as possible by planting trees. To illustrate, in Bangladesh the Gulshan area has a number of park and sports field, whereas Mirpur has a few as a result, resident of Gulshan are more active than Mirpur. In conclusion, the medical practitioner raises their concern about the absence of adequate physical activity of individuals. Insufficient working out zone and public attention are reasons behind this. To solve this issue there should be more exercise ground, and convincing people to be active.
Physicians in several nations worry about
people
are not doing the right amount of physical
activity
they should do. Lack of interest and place
are considered
to be two main facts behind this issue,
however
, the solution is simple and easy such as making
people
understand the importance of it and building new exercise zones.

To
begin
with, every type of outdoor and indoor
activity
needs lots of energy,
as a result
, individuals are more likely to skip this.
For example
, one research found 75% of
people
find it
extremely
hard
to do sports, yoga, gym and
so
on.
Thus
, they tend to avoid it.
Moreover
, working out place are few in
numbers
,
especially
in urban areas where air quality is poor.
For instance
, Dhaka place not
only
number
one air polluted city,
but
also
an overpopulated metropolitan with rarely have open space which is
enough
to demotivate anyone
doing
warm up.

Overcoming upper mentioned trouble is
absolutely
straightforward.
Some
campaign should
start
to
make
commoner realize the significance of this
activity
to their fitness. To give a
clear
example, understanding the effect of physical exercise will not
only
convince citizen to be health conscious resulting lowering obese rate. Another possible solution is developing certain
numbers
of
activity
park.
In addition
,
keep
the air as clean as possible by planting trees. To illustrate, in Bangladesh the
Gulshan
area has a
number
of park and sports field, whereas
Mirpur
has a few
as a result
, resident of
Gulshan
are more active than
Mirpur
.

In conclusion
, the medical practitioner raises their concern about the absence of adequate physical
activity
of individuals. Insufficient working out zone and public attention are reasons behind this. To solve this issue there should be more exercise ground, and convincing
people
to be active.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Doctors in many countries concern that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What cause this? How this can be solved? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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