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There is an increase of noise in our daily lives now a days? Why this is a problem? What can be done? v.2

There is an increase of noise in our daily lives now a days? Why this is a problem? What can be done? v. 2
These days, production of noise has increased at an alarming rate in our everyday lives. This has become a major issue due to its devastating effect on human, especially, on children' s physical and mental health. It might be difficult to stop it, however, this problem could be reduced by educating people and strict laws. Firstly, the human has a certain limit of tolerating sound, if this crossed it will definitely create complications on not only individuals physical health but also on their mental state. Moreover, children are the prime victims. For example, children' s ears are sensitive to high volume, as a result, they could be deaf. Secondly, on the other hand, noise might distract them while they are studying. In addition, concentration difficulty arises. For instance, honking in front of the school are prohibited because expert suggests that, it will more likely affect students focus on study. These negative reasons are proved that an increase in noise is harmful. Even though it is tough to completely end this but by taking some effective measures this could be reduced. One of the solutions to this situation is to educate people as the majority of them are unaware of their ignorance. To give a clear example, citizens tend to honk everywhere without a second thought, which produce noise pollution. So, teach them the proper traffic rules might be helpful. Another measure is strict traffic laws; by doing this the government will be forcing individuals to lower sound. For example, adding a larger amount of penalty fees will discourage people from repeating mistakes, eventually, they will careful before making unnecessary noise. Educate people properly and stricter laws are the two effective solutions to minimize noise. In conclusion, the increasing rate of noise is common in our daily life. This is injurious to both physical and mental health. Stricter punishment, as well as proper education, might be helpful to decrease noise.
These days, production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
has increased at an alarming rate in our everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This has become a major issue due to its devastating effect on human,
especially
, on
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children&
#039; s physical and mental health. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
it,
however
, this problem could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and strict laws.

Firstly
, the human has a certain limit of tolerating sound, if this crossed it will definitely create complications on not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
individuals physical health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on their mental state.
Moreover
, children are the prime victims.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s ears are sensitive to high volume,
as a result
, they could be deaf.
Secondly
,
on the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
distract them while they are studying.
In addition
, concentration difficulty arises.
For instance
, honking in front of the school
are prohibited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
expert suggests that, it will more likely affect students focus on study. These
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
reasons
are proved
that an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
is harmful.

Even though
it is tough to completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective measures this could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. One of the solutions to this situation is to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as the majority of them are unaware of their ignorance. To give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example, citizens tend to honk everywhere without a second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, which produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
pollution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, teach them the proper traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be helpful. Another measure is strict traffic laws; by doing this the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will be forcing individuals to lower sound.
For example
, adding a larger amount of penalty fees will discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from repeating mistakes,
eventually
, they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will careful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
. Educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
properly
and stricter laws are the two effective solutions to minimize noise.

In conclusion
, the increasing rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
is common in our daily life. This is injurious to both physical and mental health. Stricter punishment,
as well
as proper education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be helpful to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay There is an increase of noise in our daily lives now a days? Why this is a problem? What can be done? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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