Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

News plays an important part of most people’s lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead? v.4

News plays an important part of most people’s lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead? v. 4
The rate of criminal activities associated with young people has increased significantly in major towns across the globe. This is mainly because of increased unemployment and poor parental upbringing. There are a number of possible solutions which should be implemented to deal with this issue. Firstly, high level of unemployment among youths have caused a rise of crime rate in many urban areas. This is because many young people, especially graduates that are skilled in various professional fields, have no means of livelihood. In order to survive, they engage in different forms of vices, such as armed robbery, kidnapping and drug peddling, which are the reasons for this upsurge in crime. For example, most detained criminals in Police custody have claimed that joblessness is the major reason for indulging in such criminal acts. Secondly, lack of parental upbringing has also contributed to increase in social vices in major urban areas. Owing to the recent family structure, where both parents are working to provide for the family, they rarely have time to train and nurture their children into becoming responsible members of the society. Consequently, they are often influenced by peer pressure to join cultism and harmful gangs that are known for terrible criminal activities. One major potential method of tackling this problem is provision of jobs and soft loans by the government. This platform will encourage these young people to be gainfully employed as well as established small scale businesses to be financially stable. Another way of dealing with the issue is by creating awareness of proper parenting. There should be workshops and symposium a on the importance of appropriate parental training, so that parents can raise children that will be useful to the society. In conclusion, providing jobs, loans and creating awareness of proper parenting are effective ways to tackle increased crime rate among young people in major towns across the globe.
The rate of
criminal
activities associated with
young
people
has
increased
significantly
in
major
towns across the globe. This is
mainly
because
of increased unemployment and poor parental upbringing. There are a number of possible solutions which should
be implemented
to deal with this issue.

Firstly
, high level of unemployment among youths have caused a rise of crime rate in
many
urban areas. This is
because
many
young
people
,
especially
graduates that
are skilled
in various professional fields, have no means of livelihood. In order to survive, they engage in
different
forms of vices, such as armed robbery, kidnapping and drug peddling, which are the reasons for this upsurge in crime.
For example
, most detained
criminals
in Police custody have claimed that joblessness is the
major
reason for indulging in such
criminal
acts.
Secondly
, lack of parental upbringing has
also
contributed to increase in social vices in
major
urban areas. Owing to the recent family structure, where both parents are working to provide for the family, they rarely have time to train and nurture their children into becoming responsible members of the society.
Consequently
, they are
often
influenced by peer pressure to
join
cultism and harmful gangs that
are known
for terrible
criminal
activities.

One
major
potential method of tackling this problem is provision of jobs and soft loans by the
government
. This platform will encourage these
young
people
to be
gainfully
employed
as well
as established
small
scale businesses to be
financially
stable. Another way of dealing with the issue is by creating awareness of proper parenting. There should be workshops and symposium
a
on the importance of appropriate parental training,
so
that parents can raise children that will be useful to the society.

In conclusion
, providing jobs, loans and creating awareness of proper parenting are effective ways to tackle increased crime rate among
young
people
in
major
towns across the globe.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay News plays an important part of most people’s lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts