Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people these days have computer, laptop, telephones at their home for work. do you think working from home more advantages or disadvantages? v.1

Many people these days have computer, laptop, telephones at their home for work. do you think working from home more advantages or disadvantages? v. 1
Many people consider that sportspersons and musicians have an inborn capability to excel in their fields, while others believe that it has nothing to do with the talent and anyone can learn it. In my opinion, though one can learn to play music or sports from the experts, he or she must have some innate qualities to become a great sportsperson or a musician. On the one hand, many argue that music and sports are a form of art and can be learned from others. Certainly, most of the children learn to play this for the first time in schools and those who develop some interest in it, have got the opportunities to join the professional academies which are quite prevalent in many cities. To illustrate an example, multiple football academies are presently coaching the school going boys in the evening to promote the football culture in young students. Similarly, few music academies are also opening up to promote this art among the young ones. Seeing all this, many are now convinced that anyone can learn to achieve these great skills. On the other hand, others are convinced that to be a successful singer or a sports person requires much more than just an effort at some teaching institution. One must have to have some inborn qualities of creativity and innovation to become an outstanding player. To put it another way, one can learn the basic tricks and rules of a game or music from a teacher, but creating a melodious tune with a musical instrument, or competing in a stressful match requires not only the physical skills but also mental capabilities to achieve success. For example, many famous players have never joined an academy to learn it before being famous for their talent. Hence, it is obvious that talent is a must to be a professional player. To conclude, I firmly believe that one cannot achieve excellence in the fields of music and sports just by learning it with others unless he has the natural endowment for it. Only a talented player, groomed by an expert coach would become an outstanding professional in these fields
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportspersons
and musicians have an inborn capability to excel in their fields, while others believe that it has nothing to do with the talent and anyone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
it. In my opinion, though one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
from the experts, he or she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
innate qualities to become a great sportsperson or a musician.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are a form of art and can
be learned
from others.
Certainly
, most of the children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to play this for the
first
time in schools and those who develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
interest in it, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academies
which are quite prevalent in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities. To illustrate an example, multiple football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academies
are
presently
coaching the school going boys in the evening to promote the football culture in young students.
Similarly
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academies
are
also
opening up to promote this art among the young ones. Seeing all this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
convinced that anyone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to achieve these great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others
are convinced
that to be a successful singer or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person requires much more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an effort at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
teaching institution. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inborn qualities of creativity and innovation to become an outstanding player. To put it another way, one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the basic tricks and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of a game or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from a teacher,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
creating a melodious tune with a musical instrument, or competing in a stressful match requires not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
mental capabilities to achieve success.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
players have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academy
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for their talent.
Hence
, it is obvious that talent is a
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
be a professional player.

To conclude
, I
firmly
believe that one cannot achieve excellence in the fields of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by learning it with others unless he has the natural endowment for it.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
a talented player, groomed by an expert coach would become an outstanding professional in these
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
fields
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people these days have computer, laptop, telephones at their home for work. do you think working from home more advantages or disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts