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Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian rilef during natural disaster. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian rilef during natural disaster. v. 2
The most argued statement is that the developed countries should support to another nation after the important catastrophic event. The essay agrees this statement that some researchers show that the providing first aid has not an effect on the wealthy nations. The mostly valuable helps impact on divided by two reasons that the natural behaviour of mankind and the prestiges among to other countries promote to support while being natural disaster. First effect is that the psychological background of the human needs to help others with unconditional expectation. The main idea is that the people help each other in the everyday. For instance, if someone, who is in bad condition, needs to assist other attend to poor one to improve quality of life. The example, encompasses not only human but also animals or other due to respect for life. From the big picture, the countries care about the kind of horrible event. Because, the citizen cannot roles three monkeys. Moreover, They emphasize the havoc into their feelings. Conclusion, they must help. The other effect is that prestige of the government or face values of the country. The main idea is that Pp People argue that there is not different a advertisement of the nations. But, some thinkers does not allow that argument because of the fact that the reaction of countries, mainly purpose to get an aid when the same event exist their own country. So, it is not only an advertisement, but also, there is a future insurance of countries. Therefore, the countries much care about the helps what exactly think people are. Conclusion, they must do. In the sum, as this essay very clearly demonstrates both that argument plays important role why the nations do organisation. In addition, the humankind has never closed their eyes and also never will be.
The most argued statement is that the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should support to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
after the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
catastrophic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. The essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
this statement that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
researchers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the providing
first
aid has not an effect on the wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
mostly
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
impact on divided by two reasons that the natural
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of mankind and the
Possible spelling mistake found.
prestiges
among to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
promote to support while being natural disaster.

First
effect is that the psychological background of the human needs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
others with unconditional expectation. The main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in the
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
For instance
, if someone, who is in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
condition, needs to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
attend to poor one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of life. The example, encompasses not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
human
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
animals or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
due to respect for life. From the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
picture, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
care about the kind of horrible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, the citizen cannot roles three monkeys.
Moreover
, They emphasize the havoc into their feelings. Conclusion, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
effect is that prestige of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or face values of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is that Pp

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
argue that there is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
thinkers does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
that argument
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
the reaction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
mainly
purpose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an aid when the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
exist their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an advertisement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, there is a future insurance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
much care about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
what exactly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are. Conclusion, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do.

In the sum, as this essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clearly
demonstrates both that argument plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
do
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.
In addition
, the humankind has never closed their eyes and
also
never will be.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian rilef during natural disaster. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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