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Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. v. 2
Rich countries should provide poorer ones with humanitarian assistance during disasters that happened by nature. This essay agrees with this statement because it is a moral and human duty towards needy people, and this help might avoid the side effects of disasters. Providing help by developed nations to underdeveloped ones which have natural catastrophes, is a human issue. In other words, when a damaged country is provided with proper assistance, as a result, it will have the chance to rebuild its country again after the disaster is over. Furthermore, this help might have increased the opportunity to be a better society, so the world will become more peaceful and harmony in order that it belongs to a family of humanity. A recent study found that the number of natural disasters would have decreased by 50 per cent when urgent help has provided. ​ Assisting poor countries who have natural disasters by rich nations, it might have lessened the side effects of it. To put it another way, an urgent help to those needy people will save a lot of lives and decrease the level of danger that would have affected the environment and important fields of the country such as the health, education and transportation sectors. In addition, in providing them with first-aid medicines and supply of food is an essential way to avoid a tragic increase in the number of victims. This is shown by a renowned magazine illustrated that the proportion of affected people are supplied with hasty help in damaged areas, have increased their chances of living by 80 per cent. ​ In conclusion, rich nations should supply poor countries who damaged by natural catastrophe with an appropriate help because it is literally a human and ethnic deed towards persons who affected by a tragedy, in turn, this help will ultimately lead to lower the percentage of danger.
Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should provide poorer ones with humanitarian assistance during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
that happened by nature. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a moral and human duty towards needy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
might avoid the side effects of disasters.

Providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
by developed nations to underdeveloped ones which have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
catastrophes, is a human issue.

In other words
, when a damaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is provided
with proper assistance,
as a result
, it will have the chance to rebuild its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
again after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disaster
is over.

Furthermore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
might have increased the opportunity to be a better society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the world will become more peaceful and harmony in order that it belongs to a family of humanity.

A recent study found that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
would have decreased by 50 per cent when urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
has provided.

​

Assisting poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
by rich nations, it might have lessened the side effects of it.

To put it another way, an urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to those needy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and decrease the level of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
that would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the environment and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fields of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
such as the health, education and transportation sectors.

In addition
, in providing them with
first
-aid medicines and supply of food is an essential way to avoid a tragic increase in the number of victims. This
is shown
by a renowned magazine illustrated that the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are supplied
with hasty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in damaged areas, have increased their chances of living by 80 per cent.

​

In conclusion
, rich nations should supply poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who damaged by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
catastrophe with an appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
literally
a human and ethnic deed towards persons who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by a tragedy, in turn, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
will
ultimately
lead to lower the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. v. 2

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
311 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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