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Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. v. 1
There is an argument that prosperous countries ought to help developing nations to meet their basic need during natural tragedies. Naturally, I completely agree with this position due to the following reasons. To begin with, assisting communities in need are ethical, as the poor population of these regions is suffering with preventable problems, therefore, having resources to assist them, the wealthy part of the globe should act. For instance, many religions spread out the idea of helping others, and this affects the number of volunteers in organizations. Additionally, developed nations have played a critical role in climate change, since they are the main responsibles for the deforestation, air pollution, and water pollution, as a result, their assistance would be an indenization for the damage caused by them. Furthermore, humanitarian assistance may reduce immigration numbers, because a significant part of refugees is related to disasters of nature, which forces them to leave their homeland. For example, after the 2006 hurricane in the Phillipines, Japan received 20% more immigrants, affecting the governments social care. Moreover, helping poor governments during critical circumstance improves global development, thanks to the reduction of poverty among poor citizens, consequently raising social and economic global statistics. To conclude, I do agree that developed governments should assist underserved populations with humanitarian help. Due to the fact that not only does it is an ethical norm, but also guarantees international development.
There is an argument that prosperous countries ought to
help
developing
nations to
meet
their basic need during natural tragedies.
Naturally
, I completely
agree
with this position due to the following reasons.

To
begin
with, assisting communities in need are ethical, as the poor population of these regions is suffering with preventable problems,
therefore
, having resources to assist them, the wealthy part of the globe should act.
For instance
,
many
religions spread out the
idea
of helping others, and this affects the number of volunteers in organizations.
Additionally
, developed nations have played a critical role in climate
change
, since they are the main
responsibles
for the deforestation, air pollution, and water pollution,
as a result
, their assistance would be an
indenization
for the damage caused by them.

Furthermore
, humanitarian assistance may
reduce
immigration numbers,
because
a significant part of refugees
is related
to disasters of nature, which forces them to
leave
their homeland.
For example
, after the 2006 hurricane in the
Phillipines
, Japan received 20% more immigrants, affecting the
governments
social care.
Moreover
, helping poor
governments
during critical circumstance
improves
global development, thanks to the reduction of poverty among poor citizens,
consequently
raising social and economic global statistics.

To conclude
, I do
agree
that developed
governments
should assist underserved populations with humanitarian
help
. Due to the fact that not
only
does it
is
an ethical norm,
but
also
guarantees international development.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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