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Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian rilef during natural disaster. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian rilef during natural disaster. v. 3
The developed nations must provide humanitarian relief to the underdeveloped nations during the times of natural disasters. I completely agree with this statement because of two reasons, first, it is an act of humanity to help the needy and second, wealthy nations are economically sound so they can assist the poorer nations. Firstly, humanity is essential to make this world a better place for living. So, in times of unexpected natural disasters the poor people require assistance in various aspects. In addition, it is a pride for rich countries if they can assist these underprivileged nations during such situations. Moreover, wealthy nations set an example for all other countries by helping these poor nations during bad times. For instance, in the year 2006 tsunami took away millions of lives in Indonesia so USA and some European countries supported Indonesia in all aspects. Secondly, these poorer nations are economically backward. Moreover, in times of natural disasters the people lose their families and properties. In addition, even the government is not well prepared for such disasters and hence, they alone cannot bear the burden of such a heavy loss. Therefore, these rich countries, which are economically sound can afford to send paramedical forces, food and clothes to all those who are in need. For example, after an earthquake in Hiroshima many people were rescued to the relief areas by military forces from the USA. Overall, these humanitarian reliefs will make the poorer nations to recover the financial losses at a faster rate. In conclusion, these developed countries can provide assistance to the underdeveloped nations, especially during times of natural disasters. Humanitarian relief will be a boon to these poorer countries at times of earthquakes, floods and tsunamis.
The developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide humanitarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relief
to the underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reasons,
first
, it is an act of humanity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the needy and second, wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are
economically
sound
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can assist the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
nations.

Firstly
, humanity is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this world a better place for living.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of unexpected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
require assistance in various aspects.
In addition
, it is a pride for rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
if they can assist these underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
during such situations.
Moreover
, wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
set an example for all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
by helping these poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
For instance
, in the year 2006 tsunami took away millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in Indonesia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
USA and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
supported Indonesia in all aspects.

Secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are
economically
backward.
Moreover
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lose their families and properties.
In addition
, even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well prepared
for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
and
hence
, they alone cannot bear the burden of such a heavy loss.
Therefore
, these rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which are
economically
sound can afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
paramedical forces, food and clothes to all those who are in need.
For example
, after an earthquake in Hiroshima
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were rescued
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relief
areas by military forces from the USA.
Overall
, these humanitarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reliefs
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to recover the financial losses at a faster rate.

In conclusion
, these developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can provide assistance to the underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
,
especially
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
. Humanitarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relief
will be a boon to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of earthquakes, floods and tsunamis.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian rilef during natural disaster. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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