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The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones? v.2

The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones? v. 2
Nowadays, mobile phones are used for different tasks, no just for making calls. As well as using them have grown quickly in the modern society. Being communicated all the time could be an advantage, since that is practical, thus, a possible disadvantage could be that people are dependent to that device. First of all, the greatest benefit of using cell phones is that all people can be connected with their families and friends all day. We do not even need to make a call, other apps were invented to be connected with others by text, images, audios and so on. It is an adventage because this is easer and quicker than a phone call. For instance, organizing a meeting with friends is simple creating a gruop in whatssap, where every body were incluided and allowed to give their opinion. On the other hand, the main desadventage is the depedence that the cell phone generates in almost every person. Looking the screen all the time could separate us to the real world, which is happen around us. For example, in a meeting with family or friends ussually guests are sending messages or navegating by websites instead of maintein a convesation with others face to face or being aware of what is happening around. To sum up, mobile devices are beneficial because we can chat with people in seconds. However, we must use them prudencially due to the dependecy of them could be generates aislation of the real world, loosing speciall times.
Nowadays, mobile
phones
are
used
for
different
tasks,
no
just
for making calls.
As well
as using them have grown
quickly
in the modern society.
Being communicated
all the time could be an advantage, since
that is
practical,
thus
, a possible disadvantage could be that
people
are dependent to that device.

First of all
, the greatest benefit of using cell
phones
is that all
people
can
be connected
with their families and friends all day. We do not even need to
make
a call,
other
apps
were invented
to
be connected
with others by text, images, audios and
so
on. It is an
adventage
because
this is
easer
and quicker than a
phone
call.
For instance
, organizing a meeting with friends is simple creating a
gruop
in
whatssap
, where every body were
incluided
and
allowed
to give their opinion.

On the
other
hand, the main
desadventage
is the
depedence
that the cell
phone
generates in almost every person. Looking the screen all the time could separate us to the real world, which is
happen
around us.
For example
, in a meeting with family or friends
ussually
guests are sending messages or
navegating
by websites
instead
of
maintein
a
convesation
with others face to face or being aware of what is happening around.

To sum up, mobile devices are beneficial
because
we can chat with
people
in seconds.
However
, we
must
use
them
prudencially
due to the
dependecy
of them could be
generates
aislation
of the real world, loosing
speciall
times.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay The use of cell phones (mobile phones) has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. What are the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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