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Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. v. 4
It has been argued that economically backward countries should be helped by first world nations on humanitarian grounds during natural calamities. I agree with this view because developed countries have resources and technology which could be used for coping with these types of disasters. Also their expertise in medical sciences helps to mitigate the spread of diseases. To begin with, rich countries are well equipped to deal with disasters which are not man-made. They have surplus of basic necessities like drinkable water and non perishable foods which are of utmost importance when a calamity strikes. Along with the latest technology which helps with the forecast and ways to minimize impact, developed nations have specially trained people to help during the aftermath. For instance, the European Union has large aircrafts which help carry the supplies to areas where the infrastructure has been hit by the disaster. Secondly, developed nations have superior medical technology. Fighting the spread of epidemics is crucial after a natural calamity to reduce the death toll. Well-to-do nations have mobile medical units which help set up clinics in an efficient and swift manner wherever needed. For example, the United States of America have a special department US-AID and their sole purpose is to lead the rescue operations internationally where they lack manpower to deal with calamities. In conclusion, in my opinion the financially solid countries should definitely assist the developing and third-world states on empathetic terms during the natural disasters. This is because they are financially stable due to which they have spare resources and their proficiency in medicine benefits the suffering nation from spread of disease
It has
been argued
that
economically
backward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
by
first
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
on humanitarian grounds during natural calamities. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have resources and technology which could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for coping with these types of disasters.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
their expertise in medical sciences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to mitigate the spread of diseases.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well equipped
to deal with disasters which are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made. They have surplus of
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
like drinkable water and
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non perishable
foods which are of utmost importance when a calamity strikes. Along with the latest technology which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
with the forecast and ways to minimize impact, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have
specially
trained
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
during the aftermath.
For instance
, the European Union has large
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "aircraft", the plural form of the noun 'aircraft'?
aircrafts
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
carry the supplies to areas where the infrastructure has
been hit
by the disaster.

Secondly
, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have superior medical technology. Fighting the spread of epidemics is crucial after a natural calamity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the death toll. Well-to-do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have mobile medical units which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
set up clinics in an efficient and swift manner wherever needed.
For example
, the United States of America have a special department US-AID and their sole purpose is to lead the rescue operations
internationally
where they lack manpower to deal with calamities.

In conclusion
, in my opinion the
financially
solid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should definitely assist the developing and third-world states on empathetic terms during the natural disasters. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
financially
stable due to which they have spare resources and their proficiency in medicine benefits the suffering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
from spread of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
disease
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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