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Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.16

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. v. 16
Some people think that rich countries do help to refugees with concern of primary assistance but others opposed to it. In this essay I will discuss why we should provide the helping hand to refugees? To First and foremost, wealthy nations have enough sources in terms of financial as well as commercial for survival for longer time. The countries such as Canada, U S A have higher living standards and also have facilities to make their economy stronger instead of others. They have more opportunities to improve and maintain their structure of countries. Moreover, Government of these countries should provide homes and necessary supplies in their bad times. On the other hand, Nobody wants to leave their home and their families unless it is essential to do so. Persons forced to leave their country due to war, conflict or persecution. Furthermore, wealthy economies have mentally or physically support of their nation. Refugees don't have it. According to U N report of 2018 studied that more than two-thirds of needy persons came from Syria, Afghanistan. We often see most of the foods and other things are wasted in functions so, it is better to save their lives and provide basic needs. As a Consequent they can live happy and will able to start a new life in new ways. It will be more beneficial for refugees to start a new journey of their future. In conclusion, It is a moral duty and responsibility to every nation to do help to others. On the other hand wealthy countries can afford easily and resettle the lives of refugees. They can support many human beings by providing them shelter.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
with concern of primary assistance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others opposed to it. In this essay I will discuss why we should provide the helping hand to refugees?

To
First
and foremost, wealthy nations have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
sources in terms of financial
as well
as commercial for survival for longer time. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as Canada, U S A have higher living standards and
also
have facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their economy stronger
instead
of others. They have more opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and maintain their structure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should provide homes and necessary supplies in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
times.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, Nobody wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home and their families unless it is essential to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Persons forced to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
due to war, conflict or persecution.
Furthermore
, wealthy economies have mentally or
physically
support of their nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Refugees
don't have it. According to U N report of 2018 studied that more than two-thirds of needy persons came from Syria, Afghanistan. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
most of the foods and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things
are wasted
in functions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it is better to save their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and provide basic needs. As a Consequent they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happy and
Did you mean "will be able"?
will able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a new life in new ways. It will be more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a new journey of their future.

In conclusion
, It is a moral duty and responsibility to every nation to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to others. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can afford
easily
and resettle the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
. They can support
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
human beings by providing them shelter.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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