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Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.13

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. v. 13
The internet has transcended national barriers in cultures and languages. Nowadays, people prefer to use various kinds of social media applications to talk, to follow the latest trend and to be an eyewitness of any international event instead of using the traditional method of mingling. However, an increasing use of social media sites has both pros and cons. This essay is an attempt to verify whether the merits outweigh the demerits. Looking at the negative side, this new culture encourages people to be less social and make them introvert. Socializing less with real people, make a person isolated, which is responsible for various mental illnesses. Additionally, the news from social sites are not always reliable, at times they have just an intention to spread rumours, which creates chaos in the society. For example, many a time forwarded messages or news stories are fake on such sites. Looking at the positive side, this type of online communication brought the world closer. People can communicate and learn an enormous number of new things from the people all over the world. Moreover, nowadays with the help of the social sites, people can make relationships and travel around the globe more than ever before. They can keep themselves updated with the current global affairs, which enables people to compete in the global market. In addition, common folks can enjoy an international event from any part of the world. For instance, how easily Indian people can watch a live international beauty contest, held in the US from their home country. To conclude, despite of having several disadvantages, these websites have a number of advantages, which are irrefutable. By looking at both sides, it can be easily said that, the merits outweigh drawbacks.
The internet has transcended national barriers in cultures and languages. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
various kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media applications to talk, to follow the latest trend and to be an eyewitness of any international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
instead
of using the traditional method of mingling.
However
, an increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media sites has both pros and cons. This essay is an attempt to verify whether the merits outweigh the demerits.

Looking at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them introvert. Socializing less with real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person isolated, which is responsible for various mental illnesses.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites are not always reliable, at times they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
an intention to spread
Possible spelling mistake found.
rumours
, which creates chaos in the society.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
a time forwarded messages or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
stories are fake on such sites.

Looking at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, this type of online communication brought the world closer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can communicate and learn an enormous number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world.
Moreover
, nowadays with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
relationships and travel around the globe more than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves updated with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
global affairs, which enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to compete in the global market.
In addition
, common folks can enjoy an international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
from any part of the world.
For instance
, how
easily
Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
international beauty contest, held in the US from their home country.

To conclude
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
having several disadvantages, these websites have a number of advantages, which are irrefutable. By looking at both sides, it can be
easily
said that, the merits outweigh drawbacks.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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