Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

TPO 20 - Question 6Using points and examples from the talk, describe the two defense mechanisms mentioned by the professor v.1

TPO 20 - Question 6Using points and examples from the talk, describe the two defense mechanisms mentioned by the professor v. 1
When it comes to gun ownership, many nations have been pretty flexible. To some extent, I agree that there are some undeniable benefits of owning firearms. However, I firmly believe that its drawbacks outweigh the benefits, and therefore, possessing guns should be prohibited. There are various reasons why people nowadays believe that carrying such a weapon would present them with a better life. Firstly, there are certain circumstances when citizens cannot defend themselves against threats such as being under attack by dangerous criminals or being lost in the jungle that is full of wild animals. Those are the time when they are all alone and need to stick up for themselves, and by having a firearm by their side, it will make them feel safer. Secondly, if access to guns is forbidden, individuals' right to enjoy activities such as hunting or firearms collecting would be violated. On the other hand, I believe that providing people with access to use gun could potentially lead to undesirable consequences. The first reason is that the existence of firearms in the house might threaten the safety of family members. For instance, a child might think the gun is a piece of toy, and unintentionally shot herself. Another reason is that although advocates of gun ownership contend that firearms could be used effectively in legitimate defence situations, the government has underestimated the danger when those weapons are given to the hands of criminals or even worse – terrorists. Up until September 2019, in the USA alone, a whopping 334 mass shootings have occurred, causing hundreds of deaths and thousands of injuries for many innocent citizens, reminding us once again about the negative outcome of gun ownership. In conclusion, despite the advantages of carrying a gun in each society, I would argue that the detrimental effects of it should not be neglected, and the authorities should ban gun usage for ordinary people.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
ownership,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations have been pretty flexible. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undeniable benefits of owning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firearms
.
However
, I
firmly
believe that its drawbacks outweigh the benefits, and
therefore
, possessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
should
be prohibited
.

There are various reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays believe that carrying such a weapon would present them with a better life.
Firstly
, there are certain circumstances when citizens cannot defend themselves against threats such as being under attack by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
criminals or
being lost
in the jungle
that is
full of wild animals. Those are the time when they are all alone and need to stick up for themselves, and by having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firearm
by their side, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel safer.
Secondly
, if access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
is forbidden
, individuals' right to enjoy activities such as hunting or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firearms
collecting would
be violated
.

On the other hand
, I believe that providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with access to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
could
potentially
lead to undesirable consequences. The
first
reason is that the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firearms
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
might threaten the safety of family members.
For instance
, a child might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
is a piece of toy, and
unintentionally
shot herself. Another reason is that although advocates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
ownership contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
firearms
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
effectively
in legitimate
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
situations, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has underestimated the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
when those weapons are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the hands of criminals or even worse
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
terrorists. Up until September 2019, in the USA alone, a whopping 334 mass shootings have occurred, causing hundreds of deaths and thousands of injuries for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
innocent citizens, reminding us once again about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcome of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
ownership.

In conclusion
, despite the advantages of carrying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
in each society, I would argue that the detrimental effects of it should not
be neglected
, and the authorities should ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
usage for ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 20 - Question 6Using points and examples from the talk, describe the two defense mechanisms mentioned by the professor v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts