Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Talk about one way you personality has changes since you were a child. Use examples and details to explain your answer. v.1

Talk about one way you personality has changes since you were a child. Use examples and details to explain your answer. v. 1
It is true that in many countries the number of people travelling has increased over recent years. There are reasons which can be identified to account for this trend and travelers undoubtedly benefit from the chance to travel more frequently and to visit even the most far-flung destinations. At least two important factors help to explain why more and more people are now able to enjoy domestic and international travel. Firstly, growing prosperity and a rise in living standards in many countries has enabled people to enjoy things which they could never have before. With greater disposable income, family luxuries such as holidays have now become affordable. Secondly, competition among tour operators has reduced the cost of travelling. Only a few decades ago, for example, budget airlines did not exist, but now they are used by millions of passengers each year. In my view, in the case of both domestic and international travel, there are clear advantages for travellers. People now have a wide choice of places to go and things to see and do. They are now able to experience other parts of their own countries or to enjoy the richness of unfamiliar and, sometimes, exotic destinations. Thailand, for instance, is immensely popular with tourists from all over the world, including Vietnam. Visitors enjoy not only the unique cuisine but also the rich historical heritage of Thai temples and traditions. Another advantage for many people, now that travel is less costly, is the chance to be reunited with family members who have moved abroad because of work, study or simply in search of a better life. Family ties can be maintained and strengthened thanks to the greater opportunities to travel. In conclusion, there are clear reasons why more people are travelling and there are obvious advantages for travellers.
It is true that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling has increased over recent years. There are reasons which can
be identified
to account for this trend and travelers
undoubtedly
benefit from the chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
more
frequently
and to visit even the most far-flung destinations.

At least two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
domestic and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
.
Firstly
, growing prosperity and a rise in living standards in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries has enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
things which they could never have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. With greater disposable income, family luxuries such as holidays have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
become affordable.
Secondly
, competition among tour operators has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the cost of travelling.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
a few decades ago,
for example
, budget airlines did not exist,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by millions of passengers each year.

In my view, in the case of both domestic and international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
advantages for
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
have a wide choice of places to go and things to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and do. They are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
able to experience other parts of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries or to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
the richness of unfamiliar and,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, exotic destinations. Thailand,
for instance
, is
immensely
popular with tourists from all over the world, including Vietnam. Visitors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the unique cuisine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the rich historical heritage of Thai temples and traditions. Another advantage for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is less costly, is the chance to
be reunited
with family members who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of work, study or
simply
in search of a better life. Family ties can
be maintained
and strengthened thanks to the greater opportunities to travel.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
reasons why more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are travelling and there are obvious advantages for
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Talk about one way you personality has changes since you were a child. Use examples and details to explain your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts