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The table below shows how young people in Tokyo, Japan, listened to music over the previous month. The pie chart shows a record company’s international findings about whether people preferred live or recorded music. Summarize the information by selecting v.1

The table below shows how young people in Tokyo, Japan, listened to music over the previous month. The pie chart shows a record company’s international findings about whether people preferred live or recorded music.
Since the big bang multitudes of planets were created, but the only planet to sustain life so far in this vast universe is still the planet earth. Life was developed and perfected over millions of cycles of evolution to see the forms which we see today. Due to rapid destruction of living things this essay explores that environmental damage is a much more pressing concern than just the loss of one specific living form. On one hand, the fast pace of modernization is gobbling up the habitats of species and is destroying the natural balance needed to sustain a healthy ecosystem. For example the African mammoth, once a mighty elephant disappeared when it was massively hunted in Africa. This uncontrolled and unregulated hunting led to the complete annihilation of all the other microsystems, which were dependant on that animal. Thus the loss of a particular breed is an important indicator of the destruction. But on the other hand, if we take into view that rapid urbanization with its necessary evils like greatly increased the need of fossil fuels to derive mega energy projects is depleting the planet earth of its resources. This is creating the problems of global warming and is leading to climate change. Glacier caps are melting and water levels are rising everywhere. Thus, not just one particular progeny, but in fact all of beings are in danger of extinction if this problem is not dealt with quickly. In conclusion the loss of a specific living being is a big disadvantage, but there are more concerns which will eventually lead to much greater carnage. This is the need of the hour to ponder over the solutions to this dilemma. Let's hope sanity prevails before the last big man made extinction.
Since the
big
bang multitudes of
planets
were created
,
but
the
only
planet
to sustain life
so
far in this vast universe is
still
the
planet
earth. Life
was developed
and perfected over millions of cycles of evolution to
see
the forms which we
see
today
. Due to rapid destruction of living things this essay explores that environmental damage is a much more pressing concern than
just
the loss of one specific living form.

On one hand, the
fast
pace of modernization is gobbling up the habitats of species and is destroying the natural balance needed to sustain a healthy ecosystem.
For example
the African mammoth, once a mighty elephant disappeared when it was
massively
hunted in Africa. This uncontrolled and unregulated hunting led to the complete annihilation of all the other
microsystems
, which were
dependant
on that animal.
Thus
the loss of a particular breed is an
important
indicator of the destruction.

But
on the other hand
, if we take into view that rapid urbanization with its necessary evils like
greatly
increased the need of fossil fuels to derive mega energy projects is depleting the
planet
earth of its resources. This is creating the problems of global warming and is leading to climate
change
. Glacier caps are melting and water levels are rising everywhere.
Thus
, not
just
one particular progeny,
but
in fact
all of beings
are in
danger
of extinction if this problem is not dealt with
quickly
.

In conclusion
the loss of a specific living being is a
big
disadvantage,
but
there are more concerns which will
eventually
lead to much greater carnage. This is the need of the hour to ponder over the solutions to this dilemma.
Let
's hope sanity prevails
before
the last
big
man
made extinction.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The table below shows how young people in Tokyo, Japan, listened to music over the previous month. The pie chart shows a record company’s international findings about whether people preferred live or recorded music.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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