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Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.9

Having lots of money not always can make a person happy. I am totally agree with that statement since there are many important things which can't be purchased with the money. For example person can't buy good health or life-partner. I have a very good friend of mine who has built strong carier in Oil and Gas field and set up succesfull business. He is no longer able to continue with job and business since doctors detected serious heart dicease. He is on medical treatment and not capable of doing any stress related job or business. In fact it; s not reommended for him to work more than couple of hours per day. His life is full of many food limitations and he has to live strugling with the dicease. Another example is related to my friend who can't fi
Having lots of money not always can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person happy. I am
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that statement since there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things which can't be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
with the money.
For example
person can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health or life-partner. I have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friend of mine who has built strong
Possible spelling mistake found.
carier
in Oil and Gas field and set up
Possible spelling mistake found.
succesfull
business. He is no longer able to continue with job and business since doctors detected serious heart
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicease
. He is on medical treatment and not capable of doing any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
related job or business. In
The comma is probably missing here: “fact, it”.
fact it
; s not
Possible spelling mistake found.
reommended
for him to work more than
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
hours per day. His life is full of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
food
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
limitations and
he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Possible spelling mistake found.
strugling
with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicease
.

Another example
is related
to my friend who can't
Possible spelling mistake found.
fi

IELTS essay Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Wealth does not necessarily guaranty happiness. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Provide reasons for your answer. Include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.9